The problem with shooting stars

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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-04-17 12:50 PM

She wished upon
a shooting star
for a love
that was not mine
the problem with
shooting stars
is they have to land
and that one did
on top of me

____________________________________________________
Ok if there's any more proof that I desperately need sleep its this one, lol just a bit of whimsy, just sort of popped in there when i read the title of Pat's post..ok this time i mean it..i'm off to bed

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

1 posted 2003-04-17 01:42 AM

Raph,

I couldn't get this to come up earlier on my screen so answered it in my poem.

If I think about this I could probably come up with some clarity of what you mean, maybe even, before you can..

Grins, think we both need some sleep.

Thanks for being you, Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-04-17 02:18 AM

I am a firm believer of sleep deprivation.

--spoke the Queen of Denial.

grin?

but?

I think this is lovely, uncomplicated and filled with emotion although you choose to budget your words, you don't budget the imagery.

I liked the long title in comparison to the short work. It gave a certain flair of spark, and added to the "shooting star" theme.

now can I hug ya?

sure I can!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

3 posted 2003-04-17 03:54 AM

Raph:

. . . shooting stars are a rare thing . . .

For once, I am speechless . . . truly

[This message has been edited by littlewing (04-17-2003 06:32 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2003-04-17 06:23 AM

Raph - so good to see you again! I like Serenity's equation of your poem - long title, short, to-the-point poem...

you took a common element of failing relationships...and dropped it on us.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (04-17-2003 06:24 AM).]

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2003-04-17 09:05 AM

.... well if you can still think and write, the shooting star was tiny tiny!!!
And so the girl's pain for the wish not coming true will be adequately short .... hopefully for you.
I love shooting stars (we all do I imagine, as long as they don't fall on our heads!) and in your poem it is given a whole new - subtle - power ... you shine!
Un abbraccio.
Margherita

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2003-04-17 09:19 AM

I'm not here to analize this wonderful post..
Just to say how beautiful it is and how much it touched me.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

dreambuilder
Member

since 2003-03-23

Posts 319
caddyshack

7 posted 2003-04-17 07:08 PM

at least one came came to you
I'm still waiting
to be star struck

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

8 posted 2003-04-17 10:00 PM

Thanks for replying everyone but reading this now..puuuuuuuuuuuuuure fromage I don't know what the hell i was thinking..shame raph shame

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

9 posted 2003-04-18 06:43 PM

enjoyed

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

10 posted 2003-04-18 06:58 PM

brilliant stuff here!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

11 posted 2003-04-18 07:30 PM

Now, Raph, there you go again.....
putting yourself down. This is a very good
poem, and if you didn't plan it the way it
just came out, then your fingers must have
a mind of their own. I love the way you put
so much into so few words, friend.

Hugs,
Ethel

silvergriffinfire
Junior Member

since 2003-03-13

Posts 21
middle of nowhere

12 posted 2003-04-18 08:11 PM

sometimes I look back at things and say "why on earth did I write that and where did it come from?" but you shouldn't on this one. it's great just as is.

Descendus Averno Facillis Est

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

13 posted 2003-04-18 08:55 PM

No matter what you were thinking it gave you the vision to write about shooting stars...This poem brought a smile to my face...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

14 posted 2003-04-18 08:56 PM

Ouch! That must have hurt!--and now you have stardust all through your hair!

I think it's your turn to wish upon a star!

Love & Light,
Linda

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

15 posted 2003-04-19 03:18 AM

I love ya but yer all insane or maybe its me that insane..in any case I still think it's el stinko but thanks all. Ethel my dear you don't know the half of it you should hear me when i'm down on myself..its a thing of horro

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

16 posted 2003-04-19 06:13 AM

Agree with the first
disagree with second
and the third yeah ok I'll give ya that one
it is still awesome
hehe

[This message has been edited by littlewing (04-19-2003 06:15 AM).]

secretlife
Member

since 2002-07-30

Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,

17 posted 2003-04-19 07:20 AM

Lovely....

Waiting more...

Hugssssss

Secretlife

You Are My End Secret Life...
Be Sure That I Can Be always With You...
Through The Distances...
Through Life Troubles...
Me And You Is One...

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

18 posted 2003-05-08 02:42 PM

awwww raph yeah really what were you thinking of jk..no it's well..hrmph *gets her dictionary* ( cant think of something sincere) but don't be so hard on yourself, it doesn't stink..on my case yeah I do..why do you think I haven't written in awhile?

Kris

Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

19 posted 2003-05-08 02:45 PM

Ceinwyn, may be the word you want
is genuine.

That's how it strikes me.

quatro
Member

since 2003-04-29

Posts 392
Galveston, Texas

20 posted 2003-05-08 02:54 PM

Aenimal,

Not to be quirky, but wouldn't it mean if you were to be struck by a shooting star that was wished on by another, you are actually the wish?

Just wondering....Loved it!

quatro

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

21 posted 2003-05-08 02:58 PM

ah this one I like very much, should be the shooting stars.

Charisma

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

22 posted 2003-05-08 07:25 PM

thanks Kris, don't be so hard on myself eh..hmmm sounds familiar

Thanks Soleil very nice of you to say

quatro in my case, not bloody likely grin I think it it me square in the...

Thanks charisma

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