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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 2003-05-12 06:56 PM

Out beyond the faded barn,
...there sits an old stone well,
I gazed within its darkened depths,
...to where dark shadows fell.
A thirst came hard upon me,
...beyond a yearn; an ache,
I had no choice, I had to seek,
...this thirst within to slake.
Hand over hand I pulled well's rope,
...I felt the bucket's pull,
All the while my thirst increased,
...I hoped the bucket full.
The day was hot, my muscles burned,
...but yet I did not falter,
Hand over hand, I pulled well's rope,
...in want of well's cool water.
At last, at last, the bucket topped,
...even with bare ground,
I then knelt down upon my knees,
...perplexed at what I found...
Within the bucket from the well,
...no water from below,
It was full of this and nothing more,
...dark shadows from the depths below.

[This message has been edited by Tim (05-13-2003 09:28 PM).]

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

1 posted 2003-05-12 07:03 PM

I like the way this poem is done.

+Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.+
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

2 posted 2003-05-12 07:22 PM

Oh Tim, you captured my full attention. I wanted so badly for you to quench your thirst at the well. I know this feeling...you so hope for the quenching of your desires to no avail. But if the well once provided water, it may again do so. Try again. If not, then perhaps you must find a new source for your refreshment.

Great write,
-Patricia

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2003-05-12 08:51 PM

Tim...a grand metaphor...one I have lived a few times.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

4 posted 2003-05-12 11:11 PM

A sensational write!
Exceptional style, delivery and intensity
TD

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

5 posted 2003-05-13 08:53 AM

Excellent write!!!!
Enjoyed!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2003-05-13 08:55 AM

I think you would do well
in writing a mystery novel, sir...
You always like to keep us
guessing...

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

7 posted 2003-05-13 10:27 AM

This was another example of your excellent writing skills. Bravo.

Marilyn

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

8 posted 2003-05-13 08:47 PM

One of your best, m'friend...

The Lonely Stranger
Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 361
Upstate, NY, USA

9 posted 2003-05-13 08:53 PM

Bravo !!!! A universal theme told in the tradition of Poe.

Katy11803
Junior Member

since 2003-05-08

Posts 10

10 posted 2003-05-13 09:18 PM

Tim, awesome job... gotta say it kept me wanting to finish and find out and it went so well with my life...to try and not get that desire but like the others said keep trying it'll work somehow

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