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Open Poetry #26
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I miss you- tribute to David
| Open Poetry #26 |
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I miss you- tribute to David |
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Brad Majors 
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia 
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I wrote this awhile ago and I felt it went well with the last piece I posted I miss you I hear you breathing A step behind me I miss you never knew you Only the cries Beneath that urine soaked Bathroom sink prison To Him you were Satan To me only David I remember cowboys and Indians Before dad became god Stealing our innocence away He spiraled down We were evil You were the Antichrist Did God's will? he said I will always hear the screams And smell the urine When I think of it I remember when you died And I started You screamed He quieted you forever In that big black suitcase Like a piece of unwanted luggage Smiling toward heaven Threw you in that black Dumpster Dancing like a kid Running through Kmart Shouting victoriously "I killed the devil!" I miss you! Too young" To handle the funeral Never had the chance to cry So I have ever since I miss you I never knew you I hear you breathing One step behind Haunting forever Keeping your painful memory Alive. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Dan Mauro - All Rights Reserved | |||
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
Nice tribute and write It matters not how you answer, It matters only that i hear you. |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Very very poignant!!! I like this poem a lot. -Bob |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
thank you |
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edh Member
since 2003-03-26
Posts 111 |
Ooh. A very painful poem. I think it is well written but I feel some periods at the end of some sentences would enhance it. Give the flow even more power. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Brad: me too . . . Thank you for this xxoo |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I'm totally chilled by this write. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Excellent write, very well presented! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) This is very powerful, dearest friend, I don't know what to say, my oh my, your analogies tug to the heart so well! (sigh) God Bless You, dearest friend, always harness those memories at bay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Brad, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
thank you |
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