Reflections on the Web |
Monsoon |
majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
Between Heaven and Hell lies Gaia beautiful. Come dark thunderheads, dress your bride in jewels, Blue lightning anklets, drench her in pearly rain; She cries for you to release your waterworks. Clothe her in roses puckering their lips, Envelop her in robes of pregnant black Clouds, Kiss her dusty face with liquid Lips, Touch her with fingers of gentle wind. Let the days turn, let the parched earth not burn. Block out old Sol’s shaft of lights, shade her skin And when Sol tires and gives way to Celine. By goddesses soft glow, take her slow, Higher then before to where your clouds grow, Then rest again till you are next laden. ------------------------------------------- this probably has had the best response of anything I have ever written. I think it also may be my most complete bit, save for the untitled long poem already in this forum. |
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© Copyright 2003 Zaheer Abbas Ali - All Rights Reserved | |||
Peter J Marcroft Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265York, England |
Very interesting, has a nice structure and good imagery of the clouds rolling forth, good poem |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
Yay! Oh Zaheer, I agree, just like your other two entries this definitely is a crowning achievement, I love the powerful imagery and sensory images of the heavens meeting the earth, I cast my vote proudly on this, hooray, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Zaheer, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
It's worthy indeed... |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I myself was thinking on the word "complete" when I finished reading it, before I read your little footnote, which made me laugh... yes, this is an impressively complete work, especially for one so short. Your descriptions and personifications are beautiful. It's about time poets learned to give a positive description of Gaia again. Lately this kind of poetry doesn't seem so popular. I liked your other one better but this is still fantastic writing. Voting. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Majnu, This is very well written... Thanks for the pleasure of reading this... Regards, Sudhir |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
This is very colorful and pleasantly filled with unusual imagery. Nice work indeed. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Definitely into my library. Well done! Complete...and puckering...for more. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This "Monsoon" makes me swoon with all the heady imagery! You swept me up above the clouds with this incredible write! Warm hugs, EA |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Yes..I like it. You've got some great images here. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Blue lightning anklets, drench her in pearly rain; She cries for you to release your waterworks" *sigh* I think this is fantastic!! |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Wonderful!!!! Bridgette |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I really enjoyed this poem |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Between Heaven and Hell lies Gaia beautiful. Come dark thunderheads, dress your bride in jewels, Blue lightning anklets, drench her in pearly rain; She cries for you to release your waterworks. Clothe her in roses puckering their lips, Envelop her in robes of pregnant black Clouds, Kiss her dusty face with liquid Lips, Touch her with fingers of gentle wind. ========================== EXQUISITE imagery....superb personification. excellent writing poet majnu!!!!!! " ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ... |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Wishing you success with this one on getting into the book, as it is worth every word. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
A very well written piece, indeed. Definitely my favorite of yours. Nicely done. "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
This is wonderful dear friend. It literally took my breath away. You get my vote, and applause. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WOW!! Amazing!! Yes..one for the book! ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Majnu...it seemed to be an honor to read this lovely, lovely... poem. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Another one I thought I had already voted for...... . Hugs, Ethel |
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