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majnu
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since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

0 posted 2003-02-16 04:10 AM


Between Heaven and Hell lies Gaia beautiful.
Come dark thunderheads, dress your bride in jewels,
Blue lightning anklets, drench her in pearly rain;
She cries for you to release your waterworks.

Clothe her in roses puckering their lips,
Envelop her in robes of pregnant black
Clouds, Kiss her dusty face with liquid
Lips, Touch her with fingers of gentle wind.

Let the days turn, let the parched earth not burn.
Block out old Sol’s shaft of lights, shade her skin
And when Sol tires and gives way to Celine.

By goddesses soft glow, take her slow,
Higher then before to where your clouds grow,
Then rest again till you are next laden.

-------------------------------------------
this probably has had the best response of anything I have ever written. I think it also may be my most complete bit, save for the untitled long poem already in this forum.

© Copyright 2003 Zaheer Abbas Ali - All Rights Reserved
Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
1 posted 2003-02-16 05:00 AM


Very interesting, has a nice structure and good imagery of the clouds rolling forth, good poem
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-02-16 02:33 PM






Yay! Oh Zaheer, I agree, just like your other two entries this definitely is a crowning achievement, I love the powerful imagery and sensory images of the heavens meeting the earth, I cast my vote proudly on this, hooray, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Zaheer, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2003-02-17 12:17 PM


It's worthy indeed...
Local Parasite
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since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2003-02-18 11:39 AM


I myself was thinking on the word "complete" when I finished reading it, before I read your little footnote, which made me laugh... yes, this is an impressively complete work, especially for one so short.  Your descriptions and personifications are beautiful.  It's about time poets learned to give a positive description of Gaia again.  Lately this kind of poetry doesn't seem so popular.

I liked your other one better but this is still fantastic writing.  Voting.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
5 posted 2003-02-18 03:12 PM


Majnu, This is very well written...

Thanks for the pleasure of reading this...

Regards,
Sudhir

Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
6 posted 2003-02-18 03:53 PM


This is very colorful and pleasantly
filled with unusual imagery.

Nice work indeed.

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2003-02-18 08:50 PM


Definitely into my library. Well done!
Complete...and puckering...for more.

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2003-02-18 08:56 PM


This "Monsoon" makes me swoon with all the heady imagery! You swept me up above the clouds with this incredible write!

Warm hugs,
EA

Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2003-02-18 09:42 PM


Yes..I like it. You've got some great images here.
SEA
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with you
10 posted 2003-02-18 10:14 PM


"Blue lightning anklets, drench her in pearly rain;
She cries for you to release your waterworks"


*sigh* I think this is fantastic!!

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
11 posted 2003-02-20 09:31 AM


Wonderful!!!!

Bridgette

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
12 posted 2003-02-20 09:42 AM


I really enjoyed this poem
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2003-02-20 11:19 AM


Between Heaven and Hell lies Gaia beautiful.
Come dark thunderheads, dress your bride in jewels,
Blue lightning anklets, drench her in pearly rain;
She cries for you to release your waterworks.

Clothe her in roses puckering their lips,
Envelop her in robes of pregnant black
Clouds, Kiss her dusty face with liquid
Lips, Touch her with fingers of gentle wind.
==========================

EXQUISITE imagery....superb personification.
excellent writing poet majnu!!!!!!

" ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ...
if it finds you worthy ...  it then directs your course."

K.Gibran


vandana
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Posts 10463
USA
14 posted 2003-02-20 11:49 AM


enjoyed
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
15 posted 2003-02-20 05:59 PM


Wishing you success with this one on getting into the book, as it is worth every word.

          
~* Carpe' Diem *~  

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
16 posted 2003-02-24 12:12 PM



A very well written piece, indeed.
Definitely my favorite of yours.
Nicely done.

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
17 posted 2003-02-26 05:08 PM


This is wonderful dear friend. It literally took my breath away. You get my vote, and applause.
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
18 posted 2003-02-26 05:51 PM


WOW!!  Amazing!! Yes..one for the book!
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2003-02-26 09:09 PM



Majnu...it seemed to be an honor to read
this lovely,

lovely...

poem.

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
20 posted 2003-02-26 10:04 PM


Another one I thought I had already voted for......
.
Hugs,
Ethel

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