»
Archives
»
Reflections on the Web
»
A Love Story
| Reflections on the Web |
|
A Love Story |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
One summer day, hot and humid, she, with windows open, fans going, was standing letting the air blow an ice cube up and down her arms, around her neck, thinking, a man to run his finger up her arm like this ice cube, making goose bumps as a knock on the door made her jump, feeling guilty somehow for her thoughts. On the porch was a man looking with a grin at her feelings, she thought, selling Bibles, he said. She watched his face, not listening; the way his lips moved, the straight line of his teeth, the crease that appeared, then disappeared from the corner of his eye. She had wished for a man and this one had appeared. He told her about college and selling Bibles door to door to support himself, to help his family. He told her about his three young sisters and one brother, how his mom was sick his dad having trouble. She bought a Bible, of course. She bought a Bible, even though she already had one. How could she not buy a Bible from this man? Usually, words flowed from her like music from an early morning song- bird. How to make him stay, after the Bible was in her hand and the dull day was threatening return? The ice melted slowly in her hand making a wet spot on the bodice of her dress. She thought of the heat and this man trudging with his sacred suitcase full of the Word, and the ice slowly melting on her chances. He stayed drinking ice tea as shadows fell on the day and the afternoon breeze curled the pages of the Bible that lay on the table between them. They were married in the spring and they had just planted a garden, when he was drafted. She kept him safe under her pillow where his love touched her with long and passionate letters. Killing was not in him and he was sick from the fear of it, he said. He had seen his friend turn in the middle of a laugh into a land mine and disappear. After that he kept to himself, afraid friendship would breed more pain. One cool evening as she turned the bed down and touched the stack of envelops as tenderly as skin, she was with him in the trenches watching the quiet of the morning. She could hear the birds, her love's loud breathing and a frantic heart-beat. Was it his? Was it hers? Be still, she said, but, he was running up the hill away, away, then the hill exploded like red rain. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (04-07-2003 01:32 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Man this is was a wonderful story. You got my vote. Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Truly a beautiful love story Martie, truly a heartwarmer and a heartwrencher. |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big huggggssssssss) Oh Martie, this is such a wonderful and powerful story, sweet friend, the ending made me cry but it is so beautiful how the story began and such gorgeous memories will be remembered every time she opens that Bible and has that letter tucked right by Psalm 91! (kiss on cheek) This is breathtaking, sweet friend, this has to be in that book, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful Martie...it's got my vote!  |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Goodness, Martie...this is wonderful writing, friend..... Sounds like a book within itself.......   "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-17-2003 07:41 PM).] |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - my dear this has to be one of your best and deserving to be included in the book... BC |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
We will have to remember telling Ron to include a Kleenex with every book sold. |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
A beautiful love story Martie. Perfect for Reflections. |
||
|
ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Oh, you are a master storyteller! I was captured from the beginning...and so this must be in the book! Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
It's guaranteed that the page that this poem graces will have tear stains on it! |
||
|
Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Martie~ A touching story enjoyed very much. The ending tore my heart out...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Red rain indeed... My vote's in, Martie... |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I read you and I am so humbled, every time. I wanna write like Martie!!!! *whine*  Oh I wish I'd written this...and yes, I'm voting for this'n. I want to be able to hold this one in my hand while I read it over and over again...hmmm...maybe while under a tree, laying there, trying to look fetching in hopes that a Bible salesman will come along...  *wink*!HUGS you...delicious writing. |
||
|
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Well crafted... beautiful and horrific... I bow to you and yours with vote in hand. |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
A very powerful piece, Marti ... you've portrayed this vividly. Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
You are a natural storyteller. Wow, what a ride! If this doesn't make the book, why have a book? ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
What a ride indeed...enjoyed it very much Charisma |
||
|
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
What a wonderful story.. I love how you tell it.. such detail, such descriptions! I really enjoyed this piece, Martie. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I am such a huge fan of your writing!--along with a gazillion other readers! You are an amazing poet--and storyteller! This was a powerfully dynamic and gripping write! Have a wonderful day! Linda |
||
|
Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Very good.. VOTES Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart. |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Until the war part, reminds me wonderfully of Flannery O'Connor's "Parker's Back." Loved it. |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Martie~ This is such a powerful and touching write. Nobody does it like you do, my friend. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
|
Mick Hawkes Member
since 2000-10-26
Posts 90Tees-side , England |
Great poem , both beautiful & moving Never take life too seriously - None of us gets out alive! |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This makes for such a wonderfully compelling reading... Regards to you Martie, Sudhir |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow!! Martie, this is an impressive write and certainly worthy of print to be read over time and time again |
||
|
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahh, Martie. Full of all the emotions and so very well put to words..very gentle smile to a poetess beyond compare |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Martie, this is just... incredible. I really can't do you enough justice with a response. The way you closed it, the last two lines... that's so much more than cinema or prose could ever tell. This is pure poetry, the buildup, the story, and the ending... love and tragedy, read through as abruptly and leaving the reader with as many hanging questions as it would have left for the woman in the story. I sent this to a few people on my list and I just got "wow"s from both of them. If they were piptalk members you'd have a couple more votes but mine will just have to do. My library is really having a feast in the Reflections forum... this is a very eager addition. Did I mention I almost cried? This brought me closer to tears than I've been in a long time. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
sorry, forgot to click this one into the library... here goes. |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Martie, all of your poetry is superb, but this one is a classic. It leaves the reader with heart in hands, in still and quiet reflection....a perfect choice for this anthology. |
||
|
majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
it would make heller and maybe even hemingway proud. -majnu |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Has anyone ever told ya to write a novel?  " ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ... |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
I'm still in the wake of this poem...it's so capturing, so compelling, so...touching, though the word doesn't do it much justice..you even made LP -almost- cry. This really hits that place inside, the one that's bruised easily and awed not-so-easily...*clicks the book box as well as the library one*~Carly empty-armed |
||
|
Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Martie, Indeed...reality gets us all, eventually. So well done. An excellent love story.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
||
|
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Very Very Powerful Marite - wow - Paul |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This is one of my very favorites... not just of yours, but of 25 forums of superb poetry. My heart breaks with every read... and yet I'll never tire of reading... simply superb! |
||
|
Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Martie this is an incredible story...a reflection in and of itself. It pulled on my heartstrings and brought tears to my eyes!!!! WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL!!!! I VOTED!!!!  Bridgette |
||
|
Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
First you got my attention with the eroticism of the ice cube on a hot summer's eve, then had me guessing through the scenes of romancing a Bible salesman, next marveled at the marriage, moved by their unity in spirit, and then finally I was shocked by the death... What a tremendous Love Story. -Bob |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - I made it here ok. Your writings are extendsensionalistic, my vote is yours... BC |
||
|
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
You have my vote! Until the draft, I was totally in love with this poem.... and after, I longed for his letters and his return like the woman of the poem.... You had me involved!!!! The ending is so sad though.. so explosive. It was a cold remimder that not all love stories end happily.... kind of reminded me of Dixie Chicks' "Travelling Soldier" Very well written. Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
||
|
Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Martie, incredable write had me riveted. For the book for sure. Parker |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I remember feeling like this before I married my husband. His battalion had "friendly fire" and waiting to hear from him seemed like a lifetime. hugs Martie, M |
||
|
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Martie, you write good...my vote's in |
||
|
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Ohhhh Martie! Joyce |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Martie This is an unforgettable poem with an amazing line at the end. THis one should be published. Liz |
||
|
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
You know I've always loved this one, Martie. Hope to see it in the book, sweetie. Hugs |
||
|
EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
A magnificent write! I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on... ~ Jackson Browne |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
This deserved a second read...shame I can't vote twice M |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I know I voted once.  But not everyone got to see it the first time... |
||
|
SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Martie, This is some story. This last part made me shiver. So vivid. You have my vote! "Be still, she said. He didn’t hear her for he was running up the hill away, away, then the hill exploded like red rain." SG |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
This DESERVES the multiple pages its length will command in our anthology -- count my vote in. Your storytelling reminds me of the wind and the gamut it contains from zephyr to hurricane. This "treatment" could easily be expanded into a novel which would become required reading in high school and college alike. Bravo! -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
very powerful--WOW HUGSSSSS Lauren~ Here I am |
||
|
SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
How on earth did I miss this beauty? My vote is in. |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Back to the top with this one... for I'd give up my page to see it in the book. *S* |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Good God Martie - tears here - this is just the most beautiful words I have read - completely shattering - God Bless You - good luck xxoo |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Why hasn't this made the book yet? |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
bump There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
||
|
Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Bump..... |
||
|
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Martie, this has always been one of my favorites and I'd love to see it in the book. |
||
|
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
ok back at ya to read this gem once again..... Charisma |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
 |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Well I knew coming in here that when reading yours ... my emotions, spirit, thirst for visual romance, and a desire for thought provoking inspiration would all be found on anything you post. However, you not only touched on all these, you penetrated them in a way that only you can do. Such a powerful, impactful piece you leave us with and one that definitely needs to grace the pages of the book. Casting a vote I am for this one. |
||
|
Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Martie, I have been such a fan of your wonderful talent for so long now, and every time I read your writing, I re-discover why. This is compelling, timely, and a story that touches my heart...the book would not be complete without it, my dear friend...  Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart ~~S~~ |
||
|
Drummerboy06 Junior Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 46Indiana |
this is an amazing little ballad. Quite touching too. This definitly deserves to be in the book, voting... Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert F |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Wow, Martie - This is such a sweet, beautiful story of love and loss. I feel as though you've invited me into your memories as a guest, just so I would know you better. Thank you. |
||
|
BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
oh wow Martie ~ absolutely WOW!!! How glad I am to be reading you again ~ and still being left speechless. Bonnie |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wish I could vote over and over again Martie... Bumping this up... needs to be read over and over. hugs miss you lady Maree  |
||
|
WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I am in awe. Truly, a splendid write. |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Love your human nature~ Hugs, Martie~ |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
bump |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This poem deserves to be in reflections, and I pray you get the votes needed to get it there. Excellent writing that grabs one heartstrings. Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent. |
||
|
scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
A poem that touched my heart and got my vote.. believe in what your heart feels... |
||
|
Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
Superbly done. An excellent story. Thank you. Peace is the only battle worth waging. |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Voting... some poems just must be in the book! |
||
|
JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
I'm so glad Jamie pointed me to this. I would not have missed this epic for the world. Well done Martie, and yes, you have my vote. All of my votes. Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
||
|
SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Yes, I have read this before and the image of red rain was striking. My vote is in. Rules are guidlines there are times exceptions need to be made. How far and how wide is up to the editor. Worthy indeed! SG |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow!!! Thank you so much, my friends...for all the support for this story! Makes me smile. Big hugs to everyone! |
||
|
Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
every little bit helps... |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
...and we love to see you smile JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Martie, A wonderful story teller you are. Enjoyed this greatly....don't know how I missed it, but voting now... Hugs and love, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
||
|
Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Oh dear, I'm way behind with my votings, almost missed this beauty. I think I didn't see it before, don't know for sure though, oh well I can't overvote anyway. Hitting the button just to make sure. Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow! wow! wow! |
||
|
Muys Member
since 2002-04-06
Posts 389The Netherlands |
A very nice story You have my vote. |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
It wasn't until my husband asked for a divorce that I brought out a ribbon wrapped group of envelopes and sat and read the love letters to me from him while he was in VietNam. I bet he doesn't even know I saved them. Always you touch my soul. hugss M *s I think I voted twice [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (04-06-2003 02:53 PM).] |
||
|
SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
It would be sinful to pass this by and not vote. My vote is happily cast. |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ok truce - this should be in the book . . . man the mail is slow hehehe xxoo |
||
|
Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Bump.... "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I could've sworn I'd voted for this but guess I was mistaken. Is ok...remedied now!!! |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It finally came to me, what this poem reminds me of... Katherine Hepburn, and Burt Lancaster.... yes.... |
||
|
Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
The only thing I can possibly add to these comments, is my vote.Nice job. Jason |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Great job on the re-write, Martie! A wonderful SQUEEZE play! We'll shoehorn this into the book yet! |
||
|
Flower Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 240California |
This will surely get in the book. I add my vote. Love reading all these great writes. |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
|
||
|
illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
An amazing poem. |
||
|
aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
Wow, the story is wonderful. Eliza Simmons |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Yea!! It made it!!! There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
Karilea - If I whisper, will you listen?...
