| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
|
|
||||||
| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
|
|
|
||||||
| Reflections on the Web |
|
Aeolian castle |
|
|
Bohemianaus Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 69Australia (South Gippsland) |
Aeolian Castle She arrived; A dawn to a day only dreamt of! In her streams of warmth and light A world was born and kindled to life She nurtured this flame, Gaia in another form; And from one world to another a gift was exchanged. Lofty were the heights of transport As eagerly each moment was claimed; For they sang in each other's heart and Were one in laughter and play, Filling each with child-felt elation Knowing the other to be yes in their joy. But shadows Gathered, unknown and unbidden, Of a time that was yet to come; At first subtle and unnoticed But soon thieving their shared delight. And their child, stilled and quieted, could not resist, for Hades would have his way; And from one world to another A death was felt. Chaos, where once was play, Shaded Hope and did eternity wound While turmoil rattled and snatched at peace. Theirs was loss intense and cruel Without recourse, in myste surreal. Was it just a castle in the air? No! That just won't do! Amid tears that denial resounds as Meaning is made to help explain A warmth and light so unique. So still hope ebbs and flows That each will know peace and for Eternity healed! God bless and keep you, Namaste! Boh [This message has been edited by Bohemianaus (04-02-2003 01:15 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Christopher R Creek - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I'm sure there is more to this than the first reading divulges, but I will vote yes for this well written poem. Joyce |
||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I'm trying to interpret what you meant in this poem... whether it was a personification of the loss of love that comes with time (which I'm leaning towards) or the actual death of a child, I can't decide exactly... at any rate, I have nothing but praise for the way you arranged and formatted this poem. Excellently done, and I vote. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
||
|
Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
All I can say,Chris,is that if this doesn't make it into the book,I will be royally PO'd! This is incredible writing.It's funny...I hear a soundtrack to this,ya know.It's so ethereal yet charged with emotional realism.Wonderful.Wish I could vote a thousand times!Thanks for submitting this. Peace On Earth,Street Heart Peace If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living. Martin Luther King,Jr. Detroit,1963 [This message has been edited by Street Heart (04-02-2003 03:40 PM).] |
||
|
Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Your presentation of the birth/death process struck my fancy, from the touches of whimsy ("Was it just a castle in the air?") to the concrete imagery ("While turmoil rattled and snatched at peace") to name a few. Well writ. I luv it. Chanson *edited to correct a typo [This message has been edited by Chanson (04-02-2003 03:52 PM).] |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Beautifully written. IT has both tender hope and much pain woven within this tale. Very nicely written, it gets a vote from me. Has someone close to you recently experienced a stillbirth? [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (04-02-2003 08:49 PM).] |
||
|
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i don't have anything meaningful to say...i dig the write and want to vote gosh, your critique message is very kewl btw...  |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Oh Christopher, this is wonderful, dearest friend, I too saw a double-meaning in this and can't decide what the primary meaning of this was, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Christopher, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Boh, no castle in air is this, but real grief, real pain and real resolution. *HuGS Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
|
Bohemianaus Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 69Australia (South Gippsland) |
Thanks Kethry. I always appreciate your remarks. Lose to the mark parasite, , as always. No, Midnitesun, it wasn't a still birth but it was a real and deep loss and traumatic grief that was experienced.God bless and keep you, Namaste! |
||
|
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
My interpretations are probably way off base and coloured by the fact that I am a little bit environmentally conscious. the birth experienced here is that of the life of the Earth as earth and sun enjoy a kind of union...., the gift... a unique ability to support life... and their child, while not a still birth, was to give them grief and heartbreak... MAN.... and that hope that ebbs and flows... is for us...is us... that one day we will live in peace... and it won't be just castles in the air that we are building.... for eternity.... Let me know if I missed the mark by a mile or a few inches...LOL.... I am voting for this one for what I read it to be... and the way it was presented.... Your words bring water to a desert.....I am drinking... Sherry Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. [This message has been edited by Magicmystery (04-11-2003 02:42 AM).] |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
With all the excellent replies you received here, ther's nothing I can add...so, just know that I really liked it and am voting. Hugs, Ethel |
||
|
SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
I enthusiasticly 'DITTO' all of the above, I just gotta vote. |
||
|
Bohemianaus Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 69Australia (South Gippsland) |
Oops - i meant to say "Close to the mark, local parasite" in my last comment - sorry dude .God bless and keep you, Namaste! |
||
|
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
Just giving you a bit of a boost, Boh. Liked this one alot ... and needs a second look. Sherry |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent piece of writing, something I wish I had written! |
||
|
Bohemianaus Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 69Australia (South Gippsland) |
Magicmystery, the wonderful thing about poetry is that the emotion of it can connect with different people in different ways - its why I write the way I do. I always write from my heart and often I write in an attempt to reflect meta-experience so I get into metaphor and abstraction a bit; yet if you knew my life you would know exactly what the anchor points for the poetry are, . I like your interpretation though it wasn't where I was coming from. The thing that delights me, Sherry, is that it finds places of resonanace in various readers. So if it is a still birth, or the personifcation of grief and loss, or the stuggle between paradise lost and gained, in the end it matters little. What matters is that it does connect with some sense of the profound. Thankyou for your support. God bless and keep you, Namaste! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
