Dante's Inferno (reposted from open poetry #24)

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Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

0 posted 2003-02-20 11:23 AM

Into these caves of fire we sail
Upon a vessel of evil,
Guided by, the disciples, of he who fell
Into the fire to become the devil

Onto this journey, I have been drawn,
Traversing slowly through these nine plains,
Hell, is the power master, and I am the fawn
Trapped here, within the shadow of the flames

"Abandon all hope, those who enter here
For this is where all things are left behind
In the shadow's of the flames they sear
The visitors always seeing like the blind."

Fear rises within me, as the journey goes on,
Into the second plain, of brimstone and ash,
Fire and lava, flow forever down,
Incinerated within evil's wrath

The three headed beast, its fangs lash out
Crunching through rock and flame,
Furthers, the encroaching doubt,
That rises within, along with my shame

Through the plains we sail, within the nightmare,
Tortured souls, they scream and burn,
Forever screaming, for their souls to be spare,
Desperate to be the one, for the next turn

The twisted beast laughs, and draws us ever back,
Unto the anguish and suffering,
Hideous imps, relentlessly attack,
And the image burns in, like a live drawing

Through to the fifth plain, our journey moves,
Evil imps stand screeching out her name,
The voices cutting through stone, creating grooves,
And then she emerges, encased in flame

The queen of vipers, the queens of serpents,
Her eyes cast their souls to stone,
She absorbs the life of mindless servants,
Before sitting once more, on her fiery throne

The voyage trudges on, through the fire and the dark,
Fallen souls scream, as they are stung, by demon's breath,
Limbs flow, like they were devoured by a shark,
Within this place of suffering and death

Through the ninth gate we sail, slowly reaching the end,
The boatmaster, smiles and laughs loud,
"You have done well to survive so far my friend,
Now survive my master and the gods shall truly be proud."

Into the chasm we travel, no turning back,
The heat from the fire, burning skin,
The room spins then fades to black
And I feel the encroaching madness within

I awake, to a hellish vision, of an overlord,
Scaled, horned and surrounded by fire,
By his side, hangs a great sword,
While beside him, condemned souls fall into hell's mire,

"Why do you come here Dante? What do you wish to prove?"
"I wanted to see what your fabled hell truly was..."
The hideous beast laughs a frightful move,
"And now you have seen it, in all its force

But now the key question, do I let you leave?
You have trespassed on a realm not your own,
If you died, would anyone up there grieve?
Or of your legacy, would they callously disown?"

I ignore the taunts and cling to my faith,
"Forever a coward you are lucifer,
You claim life like a soulless wraith,
Then again, what more would I expect from hell's master?"

Fire flashes from his fingers and scorch my robes,
I scream in agony, as flames tear at me,
My eyes spin, seeing burning and dying globes,
All to the concerto of Lucifer's glee

"Impudent mortal, how dare you defy?
Here in this place that is mine
Where I can cast fire upon you and make you die,
And your soul, in fiery light, shall forever shine."

"If that is true, then why do I live?
Are you afraid to take me so?
Is my strength, forcing your mind to give?
And make me leave this place of woe?

The gods were right, you were always weak,
Too proud to accept the ways that were,
Desperate to rise and claim what you seek,
By hook or crook, to you it was all fair.

But I defy you lucifer, as I defy your hell,
And if death is the price then so it be,
So kill me now and I'll say farewell,
Before rising to the place that is free.

Beyond the flames and the darkness,
Where the angels caress and sing,
I shall look down upon you with great pitniess,
As I see the souls still burning."

His rage flows into a gastly inferno,
Flames raging with great force,
His fingers flash into a dazzling concerto,
Of ghastly fire and death's painful course.

The shackles of the flesh shudder and break,
From out of the fire, I fly,
The burden of this journey I had to undertake,
In case of another who could not bear to die

So, to the amount of souls I saved, mourn me not,
My path chosen was my own,
And in this glory, I shall never rot,
With the angel's I shall never be alone...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-02-20 12:32 PM

Onto this journey, I have been drawn,
Traversing slowly through these nine plains,
Hell, is the power master, and I am the fawn
Trapped here, within the shadow of the flames

"Abandon all hope, those who enter here
For this is where all things are left behind
In the shadow's of the flames they sear
The visitors always seeing like the blind."

Fear rises within me, as the journey goes on,
Into the second plain, of brimstone and ash,
Fire and lava, flow forever down,
Incinerated within evil's wrath

====================================

this is truly an impressive write of cadence and imagery and would be a wonderful piece to reflect your talent in the book...
due to its length, its going to take a lot of votes as well reply participation effort on your part to give it a chance...
I wish you luck poet sir.... very well done.

" ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ...
if it finds you worthy ... it then directs your course."

K.Gibran

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (02-20-2003 12:34 PM).]

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

2 posted 2003-02-20 12:44 PM

Thanks very much for the feedback. I know that it will take a lot of votes dues to the length and the chances are it will not make the cut, however, that is not all that matters to me, all I care about is letting people view and appreciate my work, thank you for the feedback it was very welcome

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

3 posted 2003-02-20 01:09 PM

This poem is marvelously written... length might cause the need for several more votes... but reading your words is a great pleasure... so I did not mind the length at all...

Please keep writing... we need more of you

Regards,
Sudhir

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2003-02-20 01:20 PM

Peter,
I agree with JM. Lots of luck you got my vote.

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

5 posted 2003-02-20 02:02 PM

Thank you all for the feedback and I am very pleased that you decided to vote for me. Length is going to be the greatest problem with this getting through but even so, would be nice for some epics to make the cut

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2003-02-20 04:42 PM

Yay!!! BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, now tears are streaming down my cheeks, this is magnificent! (BIG HUGGGGSSSSS) Such prowess, such chivalry, such largesse is so rare today and with this noble love you display you can fend off any kind of demon as sometimes we have a right to defy what opposes the light, and in doing so, justice is made and you make poetic justice with these conquering words, you go warrior! (smiles) I love this, sweet friend, God Bless You, here's angel hugs of strength and courage and my proud vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Peter, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

7 posted 2003-02-20 05:02 PM

"So, to the amount of souls I saved, mourn me not,
My path chosen was my own,
And in this glory, I shall never rot,
With the angel's I shall never be alone..."

Yes, we all choose our own journey

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

8 posted 2003-02-20 05:03 PM

I am grateful to all of you for recieving this piece so well, without people enjoying the work there would be no point in writing it.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2003-02-20 05:13 PM

An impressive poetic undertaking--and quite an accomplishment! Bravo on this fine piece of literature!

Warm hugs,
EA

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

10 posted 2003-02-20 05:16 PM

Thanks for all your feedback earth angel, I shall be looking out for your work on here as payment for all the times you have fed back on mine

Red
Member

since 2000-01-01

Posts 143
Ca

11 posted 2003-03-12 01:21 AM

Thank you for sharing this, I loved it, and so I voted

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

12 posted 2003-03-12 05:32 AM

I thank you very much and am glad you enjoyed it

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

13 posted 2003-03-12 08:05 AM

Chock full of images.

I especially like:
"Fire flashes from his fingers and scorch my robes,
I scream in agony, as flames tear at me,
My eyes spin, seeing burning and dying globes,
All to the concerto of Lucifer's glee"

Nice write, Peter.

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

14 posted 2003-03-12 12:26 PM

Thanks for your feedback and I am glad that you enjoyed the piece

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

15 posted 2003-03-12 06:33 PM

I voted for this one. Joyce

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

16 posted 2003-03-12 11:42 PM

The box needs a good mix and you are my choice in that mix, great imagery.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Aretha Franklin

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

17 posted 2003-03-13 03:18 AM

Thank you very much for the feedback people, I am delighted you liked it that much you would vote it

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

18 posted 2003-03-13 06:40 PM

WOW!! You have indeed penned a masterpiece!
~A hug and a vote~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

19 posted 2003-03-27 06:42 PM

another vote poet sir..
you do good writing..

hugs, g

"laughter is the shortest distance between two people" - victor borge

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

20 posted 2003-03-27 08:58 PM

This is a very powerful write and has my vote, also.
Ethel

Peter J Marcroft
Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 265
York, England

21 posted 2003-03-28 02:50 AM

Thank you all it is truly an honour to hear such praise

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

22 posted 2003-04-08 02:43 PM

Peter you wanted people to read it, well here I am back for the second read and this time I intend to print this one out. You have the right attitude as it is about the readers, and I commend you for that.

To be hugged by a friend is wealth beyond words.

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