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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2003-02-13 06:35 AM

One Breath

winds blow
my whispers
can you
hear them
kissing windows
I am
but one
breath away
from you

"It is like looking for a blizzard in a glass snowball. Unless you shake it up not one flake will fly."

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

1 posted 2003-02-13 08:26 AM

Wow...this is so beautiful!
Eric

winston
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 204
NW of Eden

2 posted 2003-02-13 09:04 AM

I like the unique rhyme scheme of A B C D E D F G C, and, also, how each line contains, sequentially, 2 3 2 3 4 2 2 3 2 syllables. It's like a mathematical pattern of sort that reminded me of the Fibonacci series.
Thanks.

It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, & incumbency.
--G. "DUBYA" BUSH. June 14, 2001. Unaware of rolling TV camera.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2003-02-13 01:40 PM

Beauty concentrated!
Margherita

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

4 posted 2003-02-13 01:55 PM

Very nicely done!

Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

5 posted 2003-02-13 02:00 PM

You write such beautiful, passionate poems that I rarely even consider the form. Well done, on both counts!

Rf

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

6 posted 2003-02-13 04:26 PM

this is beautiful. Made me, evne a this cold day, open my window to feel the wind on my face ...thank you

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

7 posted 2003-02-13 04:42 PM

Very beautiful, Helen. I enjoyed...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

8 posted 2003-02-14 12:37 PM

mmmmmmm
Sweet Valentine kisses . . .

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2003-02-14 02:39 AM

wow...uh....I just don't really know any word that could do justice

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

10 posted 2003-02-14 05:22 AM

Simplistic, yet beautiful.
Nicely done, Helen.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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