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Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

0 posted 2003-02-03 11:17 AM

A smooth stone rests
on glass bottom river,
breaking the flow
in the quietest of ripples

yet enough
to trip the current
into a thousand voices
none kind, none loving
spilling over,
foam through muzzled jaw

it’s easier if I
choose not to hear them
early

once swirling,
momentum seductively
has its way

and I rage against
stuttering pebbles
without hope
of sense or resolution

guilt, a decoration
hung on some future
chargeable day

not this

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

1 posted 2003-02-03 11:21 AM

Momentum does indeed have its way - Excellent metaphorical write...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2003-02-03 11:39 AM

Dunc,
Have to agree with Nan on this one, good write.

Neeraja
Senior Member

since 2002-06-22

Posts 812
The Netherlands

3 posted 2003-02-03 11:40 AM

This is impressive!!!

Neeraja

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2003-02-03 11:44 AM

I wish I had written this

I have a quiet "rage" inside of me
M

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (02-03-2003 11:45 AM).]

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

5 posted 2003-02-03 11:51 AM

This is powerful, thought provoking and deep; makes me re-read it!!! It touches my mind and emotions...

Enjoying this for it still flowing past my senses....

Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

6 posted 2003-02-03 11:54 AM

"yet enough
to trip the current
into a thousand voices
none kind, none loving
spilling over,
foam through muzzled jaw"

Great imagery throughout

Ed...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-02-03 12:01 PM

A smooth stone rests
on glass bottom river,
breaking the flow
in the quietest of ripples

yet enough
to trip the current
into a thousand voices
none kind, none loving
====================

once swirling,
momentum seductively
has its way

and I rage against
stuttering pebbles
without hope
of sense or resolution

guilt, a decoration
hung on some future
chargeable day
=========================

you muse takes a turn in style here poet D...
it looks real good on your pen.

me thinks ya need a trip to the ocean...
let the waves have that guilt ...the tides will run ya tab.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-02-03 01:02 PM

and I rage against
stuttering pebbles
without hope
of sense or resolution

guilt, a decoration
hung on some future
chargeable day

not this
and you end it...with these lines... YEP..poet you are...

very nicely done Duncan.. very nice indeed

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

9 posted 2003-02-03 01:04 PM

YES! Dunc, your imagery is outstanding.
LOL, I think I understand that foaming business.

have a great day!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

10 posted 2003-02-03 01:05 PM

Every word, perfect

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2003-02-03 01:10 PM

excellent!

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

12 posted 2003-02-03 02:39 PM

need I say more? Your poetry draws my presence.

~~I Love You~~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

13 posted 2003-02-03 03:02 PM

Excellent Dunc!
Much enjoyed the change of pace for you and the read.
~Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

14 posted 2003-02-03 03:10 PM

guilt. what a loaded word. why be guilty?

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

15 posted 2003-02-03 06:03 PM

Its the little, unnoticed things
in life that build and direct chaos ...

So glad I didn't let this post go unnoticed!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

16 posted 2003-02-03 06:31 PM

Gread write, Duncan!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

17 posted 2003-02-04 02:06 AM

Duncan,
I enjoyed reading, just as I always
do your poetry. Thanks for sharing....

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

carol
Senior Member

since 2003-01-25

Posts 624
Florida USA

18 posted 2003-02-06 12:19 PM

Duncan, i enjoyed this it was beautiful

Black Swan
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 165
on the moon

19 posted 2003-02-06 04:30 PM

yes i agree with everyone who commented.

well done! simply lovely ! ~ Talia

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