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Open Poetry #24
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poohbear19
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 94
Colorado, USA

0 posted 2003-02-02 09:38 PM


You yawn;
A baby is born.
Your tired;
Someone’s fired.
You try to sleep, your trying;
A little girl is alone in her room crying.
You start to dream, your flying;
Someone is also lying in their bed;
Dying.

© Copyright 2003 Andrea M. K. - All Rights Reserved
seven_conscious
Junior Member
since 2003-01-27
Posts 33

1 posted 2003-02-02 09:45 PM


nice job...  
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

2 posted 2003-02-02 10:09 PM


I really liked this.
Your told a concise story that beautifuly captured a mood.
Eric

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2003-02-02 10:50 PM


poohbear19 - nicely written, nicely told...

BC

christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

4 posted 2003-02-02 11:38 PM



you managed to make me enjoy a short poem.
considering i don't go for short poems,
that pretty much means i like it.

quick and has a great punchline, cool.

keep on, keep on.


garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-02-02 11:50 PM


Andrea, I liked your first post. It's good.
Also, welcome to Passions In Poetry. I hope you like it here. I look forward to reading more of your poetry.

Ethel....garysgirl

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-03-2003 12:27 AM).]

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2003-02-03 12:06 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Andrea, this is a powerful but saddening debut, sweet friend, it is beautiful to see someone born but another dying all at once and it can be tumultuous, this is wonderful, I love it! Welcome to Passions, sweet Andrea, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Andrea, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-02-03 12:55 PM


nice write! Welcome to Passions!
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
8 posted 2003-02-03 02:06 PM


Welcome to Passions, ......please check your mail for a special greeting

Charisma

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2003-02-03 02:07 PM



Welcome to Passions!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2003-02-03 03:12 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!
Hope you enjoy your stay.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
11 posted 2003-02-03 03:15 PM


hehehehehe.. as i write this.. .lots of stuff happened!!
poohbear19
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 94
Colorado, USA
12 posted 2003-02-03 05:41 PM


Thank you all very, very much.


Andrea

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2003-02-03 09:23 PM


'Tis a slice of life, isn't it?...
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
14 posted 2003-02-03 09:43 PM


welcome.
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
15 posted 2003-02-03 09:45 PM


its weird, how so much happens at once.
its easy to get caught up with the joy or grief in the moment.. but we don't often think of whats happening to all the others at the same moment.
I like this,
and WELCOME to the Blue Pages

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
16 posted 2003-02-03 09:55 PM


Poohbear19, welcome to passions i enjoyed your poem.
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