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kram
Junior Member

since 2003-01-17

Posts 20
texas

0 posted 2003-01-29 11:14 AM

You used to draw with charcoal…

penciled corkscrews
floating in white space
eager to drill
through the thick black mat
into a world of chianti or rose’

You sprayed to make them stay.

Sometimes, like that charcoal stick, you’d snap
when confronted with the blackest black
or smear your perfect lines.
I saw you, for a moment, escape those borders.
I saw you blow away the dust.

I understand why you felt you must.

You’d dab so quickly
that errant drop of paint from your brush
like a tear from your lash
that you thought I’d missed,
a tear that I wish you’d tasted.

How the paint and the tears were wasted.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-01-29 11:18 AM

kram, let me admit...
this is great!

Keep it up.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-01-29 11:19 AM

very good imagery and metaphor... enjoyed.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

3 posted 2003-02-01 12:13 PM

wonderful!

This really is a great one. We're just doing some charcoal drawing in my art class and it made this rather real.
Enjoyed.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2003-02-01 01:37 PM

You have blended both the tears and charcoal so beautifully, and have captured the emotions superbly.

I like the way you write Kram~

Dr Pepper Freak
Member

since 2003-01-30

Posts 72
CA

5 posted 2003-02-01 02:38 PM

Enjoyed the use of metaphors and imagery, great job!

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. ~ Lena Horne

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

6 posted 2003-02-02 09:37 AM

brought back art l0l memories,
never could get enough of those charcoal
landscapes at the time, how they gave of themselves so freely to the artists desires

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2003-02-02 09:40 AM

Much enjoyed this Kram.
Great imagery!!
~Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

8 posted 2003-02-02 09:46 AM

Damn, kram! this is so good!
I loved the brushstrokes on this blue page, the vivid imagery.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2003-02-02 10:11 AM

kram
Flew like a kite for a moment, enjoyed.

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