»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #24
»
Best Friend
| Open Poetry #24 |
|
Best Friend |
|
|
Thisman Junior Member
since 2003-01-21
Posts 19 |
I can see you with your bangs and horn rimmed glasses 1975 trying to smile without showing your teeth road followed river two miles between farm kids I would die wind roaring in my ears bicycle racing nightfall down that lonely road at school walked with arms around each other's shoulders such a different me who could once do that on cedar covered hills we were kings and cowboys world without end you showed me your hands the callouses from the hoe I had never seen such you told me the lie the wind which broke the pots on your front porch I knew your father was crazy then we sat in the shade while coaches yelled and cursed two oddballs laughing at fools sometime later distance came maybe girls booze time whatever pulled me or was it you I would see you at parties sitting in the corner silent watching sometimes we even fell into the same group but never like just never like one summer day showed up at my door and told me the story how you were shaving when the voices came should you you needed to know what you needed but I was me helpless me frightened me selfish me pitiful me a stranger might have been a saviour that day an old friend was less than nothing days later your father found you behind hay bales by the river what does someone do with bloody hay bales? a stones throw from the road through the wood where we waited halfway between your house and mine until darkness grew unbearable and sent us racing away from each other homeward your father won't hunt anymore they say won't even touch a gun damn this quiet sounds like wind in my ears |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Thisman - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
my goodness. I knew when I read your first post, I'd be back for more. This is excellent. I'm enjoying the stories this freezing night. Even the sad ones. wow. |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
All I can say is whoa I like it Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Excellent...excellent.... this one needed a light, careful touch, or it would have been too intense to read (or write). A moving piece of poetry here. Makes me think of Kenneth Patchen's "The Lute In The Attic," which was also hard to read for all the right reasons. |
||
garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Well, I don't know what to say, either, because I don't know you well enough, yet.....and, I don't know if this is from your personal experience, or if it is just a story, or someone else's experience. You know what, though? That's what makes a good writer....the feeling that it's really happening. That's what you did with this write.......... BTW, I haven't been on much for a few days, and I can't remember if I've welcomed you here or not....so, I welcome you to our home on these pages of blue. I'm sure that someone who writes this well will like it here.....  ~Ethel.....garysgirl~ |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This touched with sensitive fingers and heart...so very well done. |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Interesting, moving, great description of growing up, growing away from, failing, mind and heart touching.... some poems I read, enjoyed, and move on to the next...this one is lodged there in my memory...still speaking to me..... glad you are sharing your talent with us....warmest regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
||
|
Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
All I can say is WOW!!! Welcome!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
********** a stranger might have been a saviour that day an old friend was less than nothing *********** Very, very sad, and all too often the bitter truth. I've apparently missed your opening post, but now say WELCOME to this passionate place. |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this one will stay with me for a long time, yes |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Thisman Good material, good write, good read. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Excellent. You did a remarkable job of keeping the reader... and for wrenching the soul. |
||
|
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Such a moving piece. Made me tremble with each line. Well done. ThisDiamond |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
