navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » Water Dreams
Open Poetry #24
Post A Reply Post New Topic Water Dreams Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2003-01-21 05:36 PM


Water Dream I  

Waiting beneath a pier,
I’m mesmerized by bottle-green light
shadow-playing between pylons.
Feet sunk deep in sand; I linger
for a lover who never comes.

Caught by quickening surf,
I turn to run from a wall of emerald;
my legs released from the earth
with a slow, sucking sound.

The tsunami destroys the pier,
eats the cliffs, swallows surfers -
but spits me back onto sand.

************************

Water Dream II

I stand in the window
of a sky-high apartment
perched on a cliff of shells.  
I’m watching a tidal force
smash my windows,
it pulls the building
down its throat;
trapping me inside
a giant washing machine.
I wake up
in the rinse cycle.

© 2003 Core

[This message has been edited by Corinne (01-21-2003 11:06 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-01-21 05:49 PM


what interesting words from you...

I could get freudian on you here..and I could start peeling back layers of unwritten anger...

I think I will just say... I enjoyed...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2003-01-21 06:48 PM


Cor, much enjoyed the read!
Very cool images here m'friend.
~Hugs & Smiles,Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
3 posted 2003-01-21 07:11 PM


Well done.  I enoyed the read.  I really truely like Water Dream II.  Nice twist.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
4 posted 2003-01-21 10:45 PM


Thank you, Cpat. Hmmm, I thought you might pick up on some even MORE Freudian metaphors in this...But anger is certainly in here, too! And fear, I guess.

Thank you Nancy!

Thanks Effigy!

Core

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2003-01-21 11:21 PM




(sigh) Oh Corinne, this is lovely, sweet friend, I love the water and want to move right near the ocean, I'm going to Costa Rica later this year so I'll see a lot of it then, yay! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Corinne, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
6 posted 2003-01-21 11:47 PM


Each one I read is better than the last, Cor. I hope you're doing well. I ADORE the imagery in here, and appreciate the fact that you can master it..especially since dreams are very hard to capture most of the time.

Jenn

~~I Love You~~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
7 posted 2003-01-22 01:19 AM


Feet sunk deep in sand; I linger
for a lover who never comes.

Caught by quickening surf,
I turn to run from a wall of emerald;
============================================
The water that rises from the sea
will forever remain a mystery to me.

Enjoyed your take Corinne~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2003-01-22 01:45 AM


I read, I liked...and I could relate.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2003-01-22 08:41 AM


The good news is you come up clean... Ready for another dream... Very interesting write, C...
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

10 posted 2003-01-22 11:41 AM


(chuckling) I said I could get all Freudian...but held myself in check and did not bring out the the subject lines that could be better discussed in adult but might be construed as part of the poems symbolic meaning.
Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
11 posted 2003-01-22 11:41 AM


Beautiful poem.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-01-22 11:47 AM


(chuckling) I said I could get all Freudian...but held myself in check and did not bring out the the subject lines that could be better discussed in adult but might be construed as part of the poems symbolic meaning.
Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
13 posted 2003-01-22 02:37 PM


enjoyed your descriptive write..and love the title.....it drew me in...like like a current spinning beneath the ocean.


~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Poetic Bard
Member
since 2003-01-22
Posts 84
Canada, BC
14 posted 2003-01-22 02:52 PM


I loved those two pieces.  Your talent for imagery is amazing.  Quite an honour to read them both.

Beneath, there is more beneath, but, what is there in the end?  More beneath?  Or something more?

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2003-01-22 07:20 PM


Corinne...I've had that first dream, sans lover, very frightening.  Enjoyed!
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » Water Dreams

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary