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Open Poetry #24
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Ironic Grin
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Ironic Grin |
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sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
I like fishing, but dislike boats. I'm sick of washing, but still wear clothes. My brother-in-law hates the way I live my life. My sister keeps the peace, the good little wife. Mum, I haven't spoken to for many, many, weeks. Another life, another town, it's solitude she seeks. My common-law husband is wheelchair bound, You can't jump puddles with legs that are round. We own some land, the bank owns the house, If we miss a payment, they kick us out. You can't pitch a tent on the corner of the block, Read the small print--they own the lot! Sailing and laundry, painful relations, Mid-life crisis and petty celebrations. Watching a loved one severe his spine, Angry with friends, 'cause they're walking fine. Another rejection or funds cancellation, Penning a poem to vent my frustration. Seeing the darkness in plain black and white, A smile on my lips--This is my life! |
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| © Copyright 2002 Tash - All Rights Reserved | |||
Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
That is a very sad poem.... You put a lot of feeling into it, i can see.. You are a good writer.. Keep up the good work... And i hopw things get better for you. I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait. |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Oh, ad welcome to passions.. I missed your first post.. lol I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I would say this speaks of strength... and a heart... |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Sweetwater, This is good! I enjoyed the rhythm of it, as well as the message, and the title. Hugs and warm regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
Hi all, thanks for the comments.. it wasn't meant to be sad though, it was supposed to show the characters acceptance of her life, even with the adversity... I need to work more on theme methinks. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
sweetwater~ This is very nicely done. I think you've expressed this very well, and given a good overview of a life. I enjoyed both the flow and the content. Well done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
acceptance is a good thing sometimes...good write though I have mixed feelings of it |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 You are a Rock of Gibralter for your companion; but then I suspect you know that already. An outstanding poem of real love. My library shelf thanks you. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I think you captured the character's life very well. I enjoyed reading it. I also think it showed character in the person.....  "Love makes the world go around" |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
I enjoyed the rhythm, the flow, the note for note candence ......strong little message that brought out ironic smiles. Very well said...and very well written. ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
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sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
again, I thank you all for your comments and kindness.. I'm glad I found Passions, it has helped me immensely.. more than anyone will ever know |
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