»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #24
»
Reshape my face
| Open Poetry #24 |
|
Reshape my face |
|
|
Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA 
|
This restlessness is me I never could fall asleep Just stare at random things Don't you wish I could dream? It'll all decay one day But not before you do Rotting corpses in your graves While all you've worked for comes unglued But I sit to the side Blank, staring into space Perhaps one day I'll die And you can reshape my face "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Shay D. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
i can't grasp the concept of the reshaping the face part. -?- but the rest of the poem, as a whole, and without the the last line is marvelous. it really strikes--the diction. but falls apart, for me anyway, come the last line. i dunno. it's late, and my brain isn't functioning as well as it should. :smirk: -chris. |
||
|
Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA |
The last line alludes to how we tend to recreate people after they're gone, to be what we wanted. It only makes it easier if the subject in question was blank to begin with. "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
YES! This is wonderful! I loved it! A great write! |
||
|
enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
I LOVE THIS! that last line blew me away...i'd say you've got barreles & barrels of talent. smiles Nature has a funny way of breaking that which will not bend....Jewell |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Reshaping them to remember them preferably for the good they've done... 'Tis an interesting introspection...  |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
