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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

0 posted 2002-12-18 06:10 AM

The mistletoe hangs
in wait high above your head.
Heres a kiss......Gotcha!!

I know that you can 'read' me
but can you 'hear' "me"?

[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (12-18-2002 06:12 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2002-12-18 06:35 AM

Very cute!
Starts the morning off
with a smile!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

2 posted 2002-12-18 06:46 AM

A lil something fun Kari. Good morning!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-12-18 08:39 AM

(chuckling) well now... how come that never happens to me?

cute write... and a fun thought for the day..

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2002-12-18 09:21 AM

Oh Donna!
So cute...love it!
Cuddlin' under the mistletoe...oh yes!

~Hugs sweetie~

~ Season's Greetings to my 'family' at Passions ~

Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-12-18 09:23 AM

Gooooood poem.. Thank you so much for sharing.. =)..

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2002-12-18 01:10 PM

some dirty old man I passed at work yesterday said something about watching out for mistletoe.....I'm always looking up and ready to run now....

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2002-12-18 01:13 PM

This is fantastic! I'm a very kissy person and I have mistletoe hanging all over the place! I always get enough kisses to last me through to the following year! tehe

~ warm and happy holiday hugs
Linda

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

8 posted 2002-12-18 01:33 PM

The tradition of the Mistletoe is
After every kiss, you pluck a berry,
When the berries are all gone
The kissing ends.
The berries have the magical properties of Amour
May your sprig have many berries.

Gloom

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

9 posted 2002-12-18 02:29 PM

sometimes, you just got to grab them mistletoe or not, cute tho

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

10 posted 2002-12-18 02:54 PM

mmmm, okay .. now tell me? where's the
poetry in this? eh.

-chris.

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

11 posted 2002-12-18 02:55 PM

youve got a picture and an idea in your
head, but i think you should expand.
is it suppose to be some sort of haiku?
i dunno, it was too brief and too
um, immature, for my taste. yep.

-chris.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2002-12-18 03:09 PM

Christian, if you come back to read comments, I hope you see this.  There are all forms of poetry - and this is far from immature.  This is a form of Senryu, a semblance of poetry along the lines of Haiku, yes.  Not an easy form to master, either.  It is taking a complete idea and locking it down in 17 syllables.

Those of us - and there are many - who enjoy brevity in writing, work hard to get these just right.  But I am sure Gentle Spirit took your comments in the helpful manner that I am sure you meant them to be.

If you would like to learn more about various forms of poetry, why don't you talk to Nan about being admitted to the Poetry Workshop.  Several of us work on various forms of poetry, and each month we are tasked with a new way of stretching our understanding in poetry.

Sorry, Gentle Spirit, if I highjacked your poem for an explanation to Christian...I hope he comes back to see this.

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

13 posted 2002-12-18 03:27 PM

The magic of mistletoe...releasing the mystical experience of a kiss...too bad the sprigs are only around this time of year!! Thanks for this, Donna

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

14 posted 2002-12-18 03:38 PM

ahhhhh cute, another joy of christmas! loved this!
lots of love gemma xxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Salty
Senior Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 669
Texas

15 posted 2002-12-18 03:52 PM

I'm going to go buy some of that mistletoe....I like getting got. *S*

Truely a gift you have with this type of poetry.

~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

16 posted 2002-12-18 04:55 PM

Thank you all.
Christian I would ask that you take the time to read Sunshines reply here.  There are various types of poetry forms and perhaps if you would care to check out our Poetry Workshop or Critical Analysis sections you might find something more to your liking.
As for the poems immaturity, well to each his own.  We like to have fun around here.

[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (12-18-2002 05:00 PM).]

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

17 posted 2002-12-18 05:27 PM

mmk, so it's structured to fit a certain
style of poetry. good. but what about the
words. if it werent for me knowing that
you were that old, i would've presumed that
this peice was written by a writer who
caliburs that of someone younger--say ..
a fifth grader, maybe.

sure, it's fun. and i don't blame you
for trying to have fun--it's all good.

don't take me too seriously. because
poetry can never be perfected--youre
always going to get soemthing negative
from somebody. i am your somebody.

happy eggnog drinking.

-chris.

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

18 posted 2002-12-18 07:47 PM

Very cute Donna! I like this alot. Just wish I could get more into the Christmas spirit. Coming here and reading from you and everyone else who is in the Christmas spirit does help me, though. For that, I thank you.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

19 posted 2002-12-18 08:00 PM

Gentle Spirit -

SMOOTCH!!!!!!!

BC

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

20 posted 2002-12-18 08:02 PM

Gentle Spirit - just wanted to get my thoughts into Christian after reading his.

Get with the program OK? I'll look for something you've written and see how good you are...

BC

[This message has been edited by Bill Charles (12-18-2002 08:03 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

21 posted 2002-12-18 08:33 PM

WAY TO GO,  KARILEA, DONNA,  AND  BILL.....
And, Bill, read some of his other comments and HIS  poem......

Sorry, Donna, but I had to say that. I couldn't help myself. He's being rude to every poem he replies to, and grading them with stars???

And, I love your playful and delightful poem. I wish I could write as good as all of ya'll do. I love these little verses...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (12-18-2002 08:40 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

22 posted 2002-12-19 03:35 AM

(giggles in delight) AHA!!! The Mistletoe Angel has arrived! LOL! (kiss on cheek) Hehehe, I gotcha good! (smiles) This is a cute and adorable holiday poem, sweet friend, yay, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Donna, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

23 posted 2002-12-19 03:55 AM

so basically, you people want me to
dress my comments with sugar for the sake
of making you feel good about something,
i feel that couldve been improved on?

you deserve my honesty.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

24 posted 2002-12-19 06:01 AM

Again my thanks to all.

Christian, no one wants you to dress anything up just to make it sound nice.
You must remember that each person has a different critique message, or else they chose not to have any critiques at all.
If you read my own critique message you will find that I don't want my critiques all dressed up. I do however want my critiques done in a constructive nature that will tell me how to improve my poem within the form that it was written in.  I ask to be told what will work better, at the same time I don't wish to have my meanings changed.  I always wish to improve, but I reseve final judgement on my work.  This particular piece of writing was in fun.
If you care to go back and look through past posts you will see that myself along with many others write for fun, but also write very seriously and have many diverse writing styles.

  You haven't been here long enough to understand that this forum is not just about poetry and styles, it is also about friendship and having fun and at times helping pull each other along through poetry.

As stated before, there are forums where more in depth critiques are asked for.
Then there are those poets who do not wish to have critiques because they are happy with what they write and write for themselves.  We must be respectful of others wishes.

So when I ask to please not sugar coat it, tell me the truth, I do mean that.  I dont want someone to say it stinks.  I want someone to tell me why this (any) particular form works or doesnt work.  Give examples, but at the same time don't change what I have to say in doing so.
People on the forum will have a much greater respect for you if you treat them with the same respect.
Again, I do hope you enjoy your time here at Passions. It is the best site on net.  A lot of hard work goes into keeping this place the premier site that it is and Ron offers his poetic home to all to enjoy.  I hope that you enjoy it.

sigheyes
Member

since 2001-04-25

Posts 323
the winds of destiny

25 posted 2002-12-19 08:52 AM

Now I know why you have all of that mistletoe hanging around gal.

I adored this fun write.

*very well spoken my gentle friend*

sigheyes
Member

since 2001-04-25

Posts 323
the winds of destiny

26 posted 2002-12-19 10:38 AM

I had to come back to library this thread.
I was just chuckling to myself.
Remember littlebug? He was right
when he said you should have been
a lawyer.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

27 posted 2002-12-19 10:51 AM

A delightful senyru from you, too! Cute!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

28 posted 2002-12-19 03:45 PM

I loved this, GS. *S*

I do wish the grinch had learned that rudeness excused by honesty is still rudeness... and leave a bit of joy and fun for us to enjoy?

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

29 posted 2002-12-19 05:12 PM

aside from my honesty, i said you should
expand on it. there'#### two cents.

and as far as critique flags go. dont think
i ignore them. i have skipped commenting
on some poems because some poems want
nothing but "positive comments".

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

30 posted 2002-12-19 05:14 PM

thanks for the welcome by the way.

and i do respect poets here. i'm just
one of the most honest people youll
ever come across in this world, thats all.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

31 posted 2002-12-19 05:22 PM

Yo Spirit...but if they didn't dress mine up they'd all look rediculously nekkid?.....and, please let me know when ya get some more mistletoe....cuz....you know...even us "Rags" need a kiss from a good lookin' lady sometimes......You kiss...I'll pinch..you'll slap, I'll pinch, you'll giggle, I'll kiss...then I've gotcha!

[This message has been edited by Toerag (12-19-2002 06:46 PM).]

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

32 posted 2002-12-19 05:28 PM

Christian...you're probably not a bad kid...you just need to forget idiots like Nirvana and learn some tact. But that comes with maturity....and you have a ways to go in that area...yassee?...next to you...I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

33 posted 2002-12-21 12:55 PM

and here I thought I was the most honest person on the net
...Toe you are too much..

Donna, I always enjoy your words in whatever the form, because I know it comes from your heart.

hugss
M

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

34 posted 2002-12-21 01:03 AM

this made me smile, very cute indeed!!

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

35 posted 2002-12-21 02:20 AM

Christian... If you read this I have a suggestion for you.
Don't be the problem, be part of the solution.
If you have constructive criticism it will be accepted as such.
We are all here to share & help each other become better writers, not to fuel our ego's
This site welcomed you with open arms, don't cut them off...Paul

" To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you "

[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (12-21-2002 04:53 AM).]

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