Open Poetry #24 |
Freeze Burn |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Unique, Each of pattern tatted In lacy form They drift ……… I remember the winter When you and I trudged through The drifts of our past That spilled sometimes Over the tops of boots Leaving on or the other With cold feet Until we could strip off The layers and warm ourselves On fires built from fuel we stored During summer’s warmer time ………… Slow falling as Broken edges freeze Joining imperfection ………… You always said you liked the snow And how it covered the scars of passing people And filled the ruts until all things Were softened. You said I was like the landscape When I let my eyes speak. I knew your body was a curved form That enticed. So we slogged on that winter But never recovered From the frostbite of those treks And eventually the skin of us Turned dark and sore to touch ………….. Cold ground temperatures Are expected [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (01-15-2003 07:09 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
this is flying over my head, so are you happy or sad? |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy your read |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smile... what? no storms...? I love your journeys. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Gee, even I can get this and I love it! Line by line, it is great, deeply sad, but it makes me smile, the way you write....and this relationship not necessarily the end, with the use of the word expect at the ending... in many of your poems there is a soft voice feeling/hearing in the telling of them....almost giving them more dimension.... Enjoyed, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent expression. I can feel the cold and warmth in your words and can well relate to the "joining imperfection", as I'm sure most can relate to, to one degree or another. Well done! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
I love that your writing again, you were a quiet there for awhile. You say things so well |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Capt I just love the way you write and tell a story. This was so enlightening. I have visions of what you are like and in my mind, you are a very nice and fabulously interesting person. Thank you for this ... Hugs, Marti Most of us go to our grave |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
"Slow falling as Broken edges freeze Joining imperfection" ..if only for a while..quite beautiful in its sadness.. "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
geez, it's 4:30 in the morning here, and I need to go to bed, but can't...just want to keep reading and reading stuff like this! |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Ron, i think the author is resigned? You always said you liked the snow And how it covered the scars of passing people I think these are lovely lines... |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
forcast looks a little bleak in here. I'd say the News-Caster had some inside on the weather changes. Another words....The message came through in a unique way, and was right on target. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt. Ron, love relationships have a way of making things very hot or very cold, don't they? Sometimes a person is so cold they can cause freeze burn in your heart. Well, that's what your poem made me do....think...again......which isn't such a bad thing, every now and then..HaHa!! "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-16-2003 01:58 PM).] |
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Eliza Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 58 |
Unique... is your writing. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I will revisit this one again later, as it will rest warmly in my private library. Love the imagery. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Your words invite us to read...and then challenge us to reflect apon them...you have a great style...much enjoy reading you.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Great usage of scenes to show emotions of both joy and sadness. KJ Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
chilly write...felt the cold of every word |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
youre probably one of my favorite writers on this site--or ones that i look forward to seeing poems posted by anyway. your work is exceptional, and you always execute flawlessly. thanks for sharing it. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
So we slogged on that winter But never recovered From the frostbite of those treks And eventually the skin of us Turned dark and sore to touch ………….. Cold ground temperatures Are expected Which is why it's better to burn out... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssssss) Over here in Colorado you can literally have icy summers and volcanic winters as temperatures are always so unpredictable, it can get up to 75 in the summer here or in the early autumn it can be 85 one day and 40 the next! (sigh) This is marvelously descriptive, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
ooo i can taste the frozen aroma! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
pattern tatted In lacy form you and I trudged through The drifts of our past fires built from fuel we stored During summer’s warmer time you liked the snow And how it covered the scars of passing people And filled the ruts we slogged on that winter But never recovered From the frostbite ~*~ but you got through, and slog on… well done, Sir |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
That spilled sometimes Over the tops of boots Leaving on or the other With cold feet Until we could strip off The layers and warm ourselves On fires built from fuel we stored During summer’s warmer time loved this stanza. Corinne |
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