Freeze Burn - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-01-15 06:48 PM

Unique,
Each of pattern tatted
In lacy form
They drift
………

I remember the winter
When you and I trudged through
The drifts of our past
That spilled sometimes
Over the tops of boots
Leaving on or the other
With cold feet
Until we could strip off
The layers and warm ourselves
On fires built from fuel we stored
During summer’s warmer time

…………

Slow falling as
Broken edges freeze
Joining imperfection

…………

You always said you liked the snow
And how it covered the scars of passing people
And filled the ruts until all things
Were softened.
You said I was like the landscape
When I let my eyes speak.

I knew your body was a curved form
That enticed.

So we slogged on that winter
But never recovered
From the frostbite of those treks
And eventually the skin of us
Turned dark and sore to touch
…………..

Cold ground temperatures
Are expected

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (01-15-2003 07:09 PM).]

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

1 posted 2003-01-15 06:56 PM

this is flying over my head,
so are you happy or sad?

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

2 posted 2003-01-15 06:57 PM

enjoy your read

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-01-15 07:07 PM

smile...

what? no storms...?

I love your journeys.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

4 posted 2003-01-15 07:19 PM

Gee, even I can get this and I love it! Line by line, it is great, deeply sad, but it makes me smile, the way you write....and this relationship not necessarily the end, with the use of the word expect at the ending... in many of your poems there is a soft voice feeling/hearing in the telling of them....almost giving them more dimension....

Enjoyed, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

5 posted 2003-01-15 07:39 PM

Excellent expression. I can feel the cold and warmth in your words and can well relate to the "joining imperfection", as I'm sure most can relate to, to one degree or another. Well done!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

6 posted 2003-01-15 07:48 PM

I love that your writing again, you were a quiet there for awhile. You say things so well

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

7 posted 2003-01-15 07:51 PM

Capt I just love the way you write and tell a story. This was so enlightening.

I have visions of what you are like and in my mind, you are a very nice and fabulously interesting person.

Thank you for this ...
Hugs, Marti

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

8 posted 2003-01-16 05:26 AM

"Slow falling as
Broken edges freeze
Joining imperfection"

..if only for a while..quite beautiful in its sadness..

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2003-01-16 05:30 AM

geez, it's 4:30 in the morning here, and I need to go to bed, but can't...just want to keep reading and reading stuff like this!

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

10 posted 2003-01-16 07:22 AM

Ron,
i think the author is resigned?

You always said you liked the snow
And how it covered the scars of passing people

I think these are lovely lines...

Salty
Senior Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 669
Texas

11 posted 2003-01-16 01:47 PM

forcast looks a little bleak in here. I'd say the News-Caster had some inside on the weather changes. Another words....The message came through in a unique way, and was right on target.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

12 posted 2003-01-16 01:52 PM

Capt. Ron, love relationships have a way of making things very hot or very cold, don't they? Sometimes a person is so cold they can cause freeze burn in your heart.

Well, that's what your poem made me do....think...again......which isn't such a bad thing, every now and then..HaHa!!

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-16-2003 01:58 PM).]

Eliza
Member

since 2002-11-18

Posts 58

13 posted 2003-01-16 02:00 PM

Unique...
is your writing.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

14 posted 2003-01-16 02:22 PM

I will revisit this one again later, as it will rest warmly in my private library.
Love the imagery.

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

15 posted 2003-01-16 02:35 PM

Your words invite us to read...and then challenge us to reflect apon them...you have a great style...much enjoy reading you..

believe in what your heart feels...

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

16 posted 2003-01-16 02:36 PM

Great usage of scenes to show emotions of both joy and sadness. KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

17 posted 2003-01-16 02:53 PM

chilly write...felt the cold of every word

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

18 posted 2003-01-16 02:57 PM

youre probably one of my favorite writers
on this site--or ones that i look forward
to seeing poems posted by anyway.

your work is exceptional, and you always
execute flawlessly. thanks for sharing
it.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

19 posted 2003-01-16 03:13 PM

So we slogged on that winter
But never recovered
From the frostbite of those treks
And eventually the skin of us
Turned dark and sore to touch
…………..

Cold ground temperatures
Are expected

Which is why it's better to burn out...

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

20 posted 2003-01-16 03:59 PM

(big hugggssssssss) Over here in Colorado you can literally have icy summers and volcanic winters as temperatures are always so unpredictable, it can get up to 75 in the summer here or in the early autumn it can be 85 one day and 40 the next! (sigh) This is marvelously descriptive, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

GOlDsparklESS
Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 428
central nj

21 posted 2003-01-16 05:49 PM

ooo i can taste the frozen aroma!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

22 posted 2003-01-27 04:39 PM

      pattern tatted
In lacy form

      you and I trudged through
The drifts of our past

      fires built from fuel we stored
During summer’s warmer time

                     you liked the snow
And how it covered the scars of passing people
And filled the ruts

                we slogged on that winter
But never recovered
From the frostbite

~*~

but you got through,
and slog on…

well done, Sir

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

23 posted 2003-01-27 06:12 PM

That spilled sometimes
Over the tops of boots
Leaving on or the other
With cold feet
Until we could strip off
The layers and warm ourselves
On fires built from fuel we stored
During summer’s warmer time

loved this stanza.

Corinne

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.