Just another twisted day - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-12-18 04:37 AM

Y'ever see a shadow shift
in that dark
before the dawn
and watch the haze
of grays to pink
edge a ghetto
from the page?

Displayed.
I saw this happening
through the steam
of coffee cup
and I wiped
the sleep from eyes
staring shapes
from street to form.

My newspaper she beckoned me
and seemed a million miles away.
I stayed perched
in window seat
and pondered
puzzle
in the street.

I saw red
rise in distress--
I heard the anger
sound alarm.

The guys who sold
the dope at Gate
at the end
of our driveway
now had our boy,
my sister's son
surrounded
in the street.

Shane was spinning
with a pipe--
a pipe the length
of twice of him.

Then I heard my sister stomp.
Her eyes in squint of mother's song
I-just-know-there's-something-wrong
and I said,
"See about yer boy..."

I nodded to the street.

Then I watched in admiration
as the storm hit land.

I watched her pave a path to street--
her toes were digging graveled trench.
I saw men look, curiously,
at just the sight of her.
Stomping barefoot stony road
teeth in grind
fists in clench
eyes in flame of rage
she screamed,
"Just what the HELL is going on?"

"SHANE?"

"You go your ass to bed!
and boys? I think you should go home!"

Mind you. These were not children.
I saw the promise of a gun
sparking flash of first sunlight--
My sister stomped and dispersed mice.

I watched them scatter gone.

My nephew trudged in sheepishly.
My sister she picked up the news.

She let the screen door slam again
and handed me The Picayune.

I told her "the coffee is done."

Then I watched the sun in rise.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2002-12-18 04:45 AM

and I'm glad I'm still up to read it. What a write! Your sister sounds like a warrior with a heart of gold....and you, the cool, level-headed one who sits in a calm awareness, quite pleased just to watch it.

[This message has been edited by passing shadows (12-18-2002 04:50 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2002-12-18 06:58 AM

Some mamas can do just that...
wonderful descriptives here...
I'm enjoying the series!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-12-18 08:38 AM

both so far are captivating and in your usual style, well told. Glad to see the stories being told...

write it witch...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2002-12-18 09:35 AM

WOW! You sure can tell it like it is...or in this case 'was'.
I can't say enough how much I'm enjoying this series Karen.
Fantastic imagery...took me right there...ya sure did!
~Hugs~

~ Season's Greetings to my 'family' at Passions ~

Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-12-18 09:37 AM

Good good good good.. lol..... I really enjoyed this poem.. Thank you for sharing.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 2002-12-18 09:43 AM

serenity,
Well done, but then you always do well.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2002-12-18 11:51 AM

Okay... hurry up those fingers of yours! LOL I love this series! *S*

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

8 posted 2002-12-18 11:52 AM

enjoyed

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

9 posted 2002-12-18 11:57 AM

EXCELLENT STUFF..........

quite a lot of lines I liked here... you are special, you know that?

regards,
Sudhir

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

10 posted 2002-12-18 12:04 PM

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry...dear friend. I'm enjoying this so much.
I'm still wondering about the book?????
Karen, I love your story poems....

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

11 posted 2002-12-18 12:06 PM

Hell hath no fury...
great stuff as usual keep em coming fast and furious!

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

12 posted 2002-12-18 12:55 PM

i like the way the rhymes work. not commonly done, thats for sure

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

13 posted 2002-12-18 07:39 PM

twisted

A Tone of Voice
Member

since 2001-07-18

Posts 287

14 posted 2002-12-18 07:42 PM

there is no greater courage or instinct to protect than that of a Mother~! This is uniquely done, bravo~!

~I envy those who have perfected the art of being~

~A Tone of Voice~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

15 posted 2002-12-18 08:08 PM

I wanted to say thank you to you all...

and oh there's MORE...grin

but this one? I have thought about for years.

I have no idea why I was so calm with so much potential for disaster. I do have an idea tho, about WHY these guys listened to my sister that morning.

In "To Kill A Mockingbird" Harper Lee describes a similar scene whereupon the character of Scout manages to disperse an unruly mob just by virtue of a few words. Atticus in his wisdom explained to her that she managed to touch their humanity and reminded them that we are all just people. (I do paraphrase.) I like to think that morning my sister hit a chord of "mom" in all of those angry young men.

It wasn't something she thought about or planned. And lucky for us, it turned out the way it did. But it WAS that scene that I thought of while writing about this more modern day lynch mob, ironically, with the colors reversed.

Thanks much. and yep. I think too much!

Love you all.

Siofra

Senior Member

since 2000-09-28

Posts 551
State of Suspended Passion

16 posted 2002-12-19 12:43 PM

Through this you show a certain love for her that you don't even have to make obvious in order for it to be noticed.

You sure can tell a story.

"My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words
Of that tongue’s uttering, yet I know the sound:" "Romeo and Juliet"

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

17 posted 2002-12-19 12:48 PM

(sigh) Oh my gosh, I am a huge admirer of Harper Lee, and to "crawl around in anyone's skin and walk around in it" is indeed quite a virtue, as I think you have done much justice here to implore of that many cannot! (big hugggsssssss) I just love this series, sweet friend, yay, more, more, more, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

18 posted 2002-12-19 06:46 AM

Yup.... just another twisted day.

Y'ever see a shadow shift
in that dark
before the dawn

loved these opening lines m'dear.

so what happened after the sun rise?

just curious, you know how us gemini's are

enjoyed 'O Gorgeous One.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

19 posted 2002-12-19 05:57 PM

Another thanks. and yes, I adore my sisters.

chuckle...steel magnolias, yes, they are.

share a quick story, I was once very rudely insulted by a bartender, and a group us were sitting around talking about it, when one of the guys suggested that I just take my brothers up there for drinks, so that this guy would get the message. Another friend interjected--"Her brothers? Naw, she should just bring her sisters up there! That would REALLY put the fear of the Lord into him!"

*winks* and gratitude.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.