»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #24
»
Worthless Plea
| Open Poetry #24 |
|
Worthless Plea |
|
|
GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought 
|
Maybe cry a river and build a bridge I know I’ll find a way through this. I think I’ll make it on my own, This time I’ll cover up with stone. I’m not wrong, not this time, no, I’ve tried harder than ever to be bold And now I’m gonna make It right. I will stand strong and I will fight. I won’t run when the going’s tough, For I can make it, I know I can. You see I’ve struggled, so I may be weak But you can’t get past this mask I keep. Tear me apart, you’ll just take shards But the mask of stone will break your hand I’m sorry if you’re hurt by me, The mask is just so hard, you see I don’t think I’ve ever hurt your heart Though you’ve taken mine, torn it apart. I try so hard, please understand, But the pain I feel has greater demand. Its not like I slack off and fall, I’m staying strong on a different call. But my best isn’t good enough, I see So all I say is a worthless plea. (yea so its not great I know.. I wasn't too happy when I wrote it) - And so it was that time stood still - |
||
| © Copyright 2003 GG - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
On the contrary GG I thought it was very good…and it’s always good to write what the heart is thinking. Helps clear it out for shiner days. ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Ditto! I totally agree with Salty... You did just fine... You are working very hard on your rhyme, perhaps one day you can start working on the meter of the poem as well. Believe me, I wrote for months just rhyming before I ever started writing in metered time as well... both can be a challenge, but are very self rewardig once you start to see what you have accomplished.. |
||
|
christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
you don't have to maintain a steady meter to get a lyrical rhyme--you could have a 5-7 syllable stanza and still have it sounding freeflowing and connect. that's just me though. i think you did a good job. though, 'cry me a river' just sounds so overused and overdone these days. damn timberlake. still, i agree with salty. anything straight from the heart is comm- endable. this is no exception. keep at it. -chris. |
||
|
GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Thanks each of you... On this one I was just kind of writing whatever came out. Wrote it for myself more than anything so it wasn't supposed to be any great work. It would be fun to study meter some, I like doing all types of poetry.. But for now I'm quite happy with just writing for myself and showing it to you all great people. Maybe when summer break comes and I don't have to be in school. English class just ruins poetry's fun! Anyway, thank you all again  Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
GG - I thought it was good also. Keep them coming, they are a fine read from a telling pen... BC |
||
|
inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
liked it, spoke from your heart |
||
|
GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Thank you very much for reading and replying Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good write, I enjoyed it |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
