Open Poetry #24 |
Summer of 74 |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Summer laid a breath of heavy air Soaked in Gulf Stream storms That did not make it far enough north To quench the parch of us, But did laden us with sweating breezes That offered no relief . We sought refuge in cool pools That hidden in the shade Of oak lined banks offered privacy Enough to lay naked On soft grass while we glistened wet With drops of river that still clung I asked you then Did you love me? You tangled your fingers In green blades, as if gravity Was failing and you needed the hold To keep you anchored, refusing to let your eyes Meet mine. I just smiled And forced a laugh Mumbling, It must be the heat that left you with no sound [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (01-09-2003 04:03 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
Whew....It must be |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
perhaps the edit clarifies the intent.... thanks for dropping in Salty... appreciate the words |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
This is some VERY good writing! Well done, sir! The stars will shine when I am gone, |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thank you Auguste...glad you liked...I'm not sure about the good writing part..but if ti pleases someone..then I feel I have succeeded. thanks again! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
vandana..thank you.. appreciate your taking time to read |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
why did you care, you were what, like l9, and a guy.it was still the decade or so of free love. you were getting it......so why bother with asking if she loved u? i dont mean to be crass, but i thought of me at l9, in l974, and the last thing any of my dopey boyfriends would have asked me then is i loved them |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Inked.... at 19 I had been married 3 years...and the one I asked was my wife. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
well then, nevermind! how sweet then, guess im talking from the experiences teenage years, living out her summers on the beach |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Got two years on ya Cpat. That non- answer is unlikely to be forgotten. Enjoyed [This message has been edited by RSWells (01-09-2003 05:33 PM).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thanks for dropping in RS.. no... non answers are hard to forget sometimes. Just been taking a few backroads into the past lately and this non answer got written. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
And you do that road traveling so very well... gravel and all. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Damn this is so good! Wow!...more please? ~Hugs & Smiles~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
I like the scene set in this poem...the imagery is light and conserved but the emotions are rock solid... believe in what your heart feels... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
A poet after my own heart!!! You speak the language so well Cpat~ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
*smiling* |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh Ron, this is lovely, sweet friend, this made me cry as I miss my love and I only wish I could feel such that afterglow!n (big hugggsssssss) This is a true summer of love, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, This is like a snipit from a movie, and I for one would like you to write the rest of it...your ability to write descriptively and lull the reader into a sense of calm and peace, and then casually throw in one short,dramatic sentence to instantly change the mood is pure talent. Enjoyed this a great deal. Warm regards, Pat Enjoyed... ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
ahhhhh yes, silence is not always golden---enjoyed! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You tangled your fingers In green blades, as if gravity Was failing and you needed the hold To keep you anchored, ============================ that verse just went thru me.... and I know I dont have to explain why... you'll already just know.... sometimes? I have to hold on to me chair arms when reading poetry...many of them yours Moths dont care if the flame is real |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt......This is just SOOO good...all of it.....Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us........ (I'm not EVEN touching the AGE thing, not after I revealed the age-difference between me and my Love....HeeHee.....) "Love makes the world go around" |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Must have missed your telling about age differences... but you know ages are not as important as a lot of people make them... thanks for the nice words.. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
God that's beautiful writing, made bittersweet by the years between. I love this. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Mikey...you are going give me the big head with those compliments you know.. ( chuckling) Thanks for very kind words... they are appreciated.. |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
I am in awe. Kielo I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing. |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
CPat, this was, I can't think of appropriate words to express it, WOW~! Now wasn't that original....haha, truly this is excellent, it's so real and charming.....good good good job~! Atov |
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