Open Poetry #24 |
Forever? |
Ada'doLisdo'ti Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123California |
Forever Don't Last You said forever with a smile upon your face. It's said when I think how quickly I was replaced. Phone calls every once in awhile to say your okay. We're still friends but you've gone your own way. There were so many things we had left to do. All the promises left unspoken. But know I sit here crying my heart broken. Forever don't last as long as it used to. Tears at the funeral as we said goodbye. I know I promised I wouldn't cry. Seeing you there cold beauty intact. The tears began to fall before I could react. There were so many things we had left to do. All the promises left unspoken. But know I sit here crying my heart broken. Forever don't last as long as it used to. We all have someone we promised forever to. We've all stood hearts in hand, from someone untrue. We've all been touched by the death of love. Spent nights crying to heaven above. Because.... There were so many things we had left to do. All the promises left unspoken. But know I sit here crying my heart broken. Forever don't last as long as it used to. Of all I've lost; I miss my innocence the most. |
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© Copyright 2003 Albert D Lopez - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Wow, this is a really nice song, and one that is so true...well done. |
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Ada'doLisdo'ti Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123California |
Thank you |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I loved this one! Nice ending! This is what I've always believed...forever don't last. |
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secretlife Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359Grean Earth ,,, |
Enjoyed???? Hugessssss |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Quite creative. The death of love...indeed we hold those funerals... sad...you wrote this well capturing the real feelings... Hugs and warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Well, color me stupid or give me more coffee because I didn't get it at first. I was like "Gee how can they call once in the while but be dead" ohhhhh hello, the death of the love/promise...good lord I need more sleep. Anyway, I always say I no longer believe in "happily ever after" which of course is the theme of this write. Good job, I really enjoyed it once the fog in my brain cleared. Susan |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I was a little confused to start with, like Susan, until I figured out what the death was of. This was a good one. Is it a song? It does sound like it with the repeated chorus. "Love makes the world go around" |
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defenestrate Junior Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 46nc, us |
i always dig time/change imagery in ended-relationship compositions. i'd like to see (presuming this is intended to be a song) how the delivery of the words would be done-what would get sped up, what would get slowed down, etc. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
wow Powerful read.....loved the parables. ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
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Ada'doLisdo'ti Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123California |
THANKS ALL ENJOYED THE FEEDBACK, GLAD YOU LIKED IT. Of all I've lost; I miss my innocence the most. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Forever don't last as long as it used to. ***************************************** Great line. My condolences, for your loss. |
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