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Open Poetry #24

By the Time : A Trine

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2003-01-07 07:22 AM

The night had fallen sullen on me
Taking light and losing musing to see,
Falling deep in thoughts you brought to mind,
Sleeping weeps in schemes of dreams in time,
Arrive late and see me flee away
Nightmares of madness and sadness flay.
By the time the clock chime was playing
Before words could be heard in saying
The full cost was long lost from paying.

Gloom

The Trine is a French form of three rhyming couplets, followed by a triplet.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2003-01-07 08:29 AM

By the time the clock chime was playing
Before words could be heard in saying
The full cost was long lost from paying.
********************************************
Enjoyed this one. Did you time your trine time?

That last line is thought-provoking.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2003-01-07 08:38 AM

Professor,
Now I would say that is top gloom, enjoyed.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

3 posted 2003-01-07 10:55 AM

Many lessons here, thank you, enjoyed!
warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-01-07 01:11 PM

wonderful write! I enjoyed the lesson, and the theme

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

5 posted 2003-01-07 01:28 PM

Thank you, Midnitesun,
Pleased you enjoyed,
That last line gave me a bit of hesitation
The full cost was long lost (in)(of)(with) paying.
Too many shades here, wanted a cause ~ effect meaning.

Thank you, Seymour,
Always a pleasure to please you

Thank you, regards2you,
Just a little example of another style,
Glad you liked

Thank you, passing shadows,
The theme is not actually truly proper for the form,
Which is usually about Love (French go figure) or Religious

Gloom

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