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Open Poetry #24
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2002-12-15 11:30 PM


Her number scrawled
upon the inside cover
of a dusty book
dog eared and
worn with age
seven digits that
make a grown man
weep
longing for
distant days
before he lost the boy

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (12-15-2002 11:55 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2002-12-16 03:17 AM


I suppose it's hard to become a man and lose what youth was all about...and a fine girl she must have been then
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-12-16 06:43 AM



I read this three times...
and felt three different meanings...

well done!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2002-12-16 12:30 PM


Wonderfully complex imagery here, Raph.
Maybe 7 will still be a lucky number for you, another 7 maybe?

Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
4 posted 2002-12-16 12:35 PM


I really like this one.  You convey your feeling very well.


GOOD WORK!


~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2002-12-16 12:38 PM


I believe the boy is still in you, but the girl may no longer be in her. Times change and so do people.

I enjoy the way you write. It makes me think--but not too much--and for me that is a good thing! tehe

~ warm afternoon hugs

Linda

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
6 posted 2002-12-16 01:02 PM




Raph,

Enjoyed this much. Sad, but sweet.
You wrote it well.


Warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
7 posted 2002-12-16 04:51 PM



7, yes i remember,
7 is fun for checkers, racecars, video games.

but from what this girl rmembers, 26 can
play all thru the night........es verdad?

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2002-12-16 09:47 PM


passing she was something else

thanks sunshine rereading it myself I've found the same thing, totally unintended but interesting. Glad you enjoyed it

Kacy 7 has not been in kind, in more ways then one but thanks for the thought

Thank you salty i try

Thanks Linda, I guess he's still milling around in there somewhere but he won't come out and play

Thank you Pat always appreciate your comments

inked if i got you're meaning right I'm blushing, if I didn't then I'm just confused and half stoned from another glorious day of work so don't mind me

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2002-12-16 11:10 PM


you got my meaning right,
and why are yu just half, not totally,
feed your head the other half,and send some
over here

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2002-12-16 11:41 PM


If i had some to send I would, i have Percocet will that do? They are for me at the moment..flying. BTW you have mail my servers down or I would've written sooner
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
11 posted 2002-12-18 09:55 AM


There's something about that number, isn't there...?  You've encapsulated so much here in a short write with wonderful phrasing, might I add.  Made me picture strong writing such as "A Separate Peace".

-MVS

"AS ABOVE SO BELOW"

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
12 posted 2002-12-18 09:56 AM


=(.... sad, but it is a good poem... Thank you for sharing your feelings.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
13 posted 2002-12-18 12:26 PM


Mark A seperate peace? I must confess I've never heard of it please enlighten me. Thanks for the compliments and the continued reading

Connel thank you very much


raph

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
14 posted 2002-12-18 10:26 PM


Very poignant, Aenimal.

Cor

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
15 posted 2002-12-19 11:04 PM


Thank you for the kind words Corinne i appreciate it
Laney
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 85
Illinois
16 posted 2002-12-19 11:30 PM


Sad, but you have captured your true emotions.  I enjoyed this poem, definately was a re-read!  

--Alana

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
17 posted 2002-12-20 10:54 PM


thank you Alana I'm glad you took the time to give it more then one read
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
18 posted 2003-02-17 09:13 PM


I am fast, fast becoming such a fan of your work....YES!!!!  masterful....
Lauren~

Take me where the tides start
So I can pull you into me

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
19 posted 2003-02-18 01:52 AM


thank you greeneyes too kind
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