Rub-A-Dub-Dub...Cpat. Hair In The Tub

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Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2002-10-24 10:25 AM

Cpat. Hair sure loves his bathroom,
It's his favorite place to be,
His habits are unusual,
As you're about to read.

His habits are deplorable,
His wife knows not what to do?
What he does in there is horrible,
And nauseating too.

He stands there at the toilet,
But whizzes on the wall,
Sometimes he hits the heater,
And they smell it in the hall.

And all the time he's whizzin'
He burps in harmony,
He keeps a flatulent rhythm,
He's a gastric symphony.

He insists on blowing bubbles,
Every time he's in the tub,
If he isn't blowing bubbles,
He's playin' "rub-a-dub"

It's a flatulent jacuzzi,
He loves to make them rip,
The water's stinkin' fizzy,
His wife is havin' fits.

She said now listen to me,
I think that's quite enough,
Every time you blow those bubbles,
You're leavin' rings around the tub.

If you insist on blowing bubbles,
Quit smokin' them cigars,
There's stains inside your clothing,
And cleaning's very hard!

Cpat. Hair still blew his bubbles,
Though he was running outta gas
But he is persistant,
This couldn't be his last.

He strained and strained for one last blow,
Exhausting all his power
This time his bubbles came in lumps,
Cpat. Hair now only showers.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-10-24 10:30 AM

(chuckling)

Well now them showers aren't near as much fun as the tub was, but got to admit getting them lumps out last time was a chore till you came over and told me your secrets... I'd a never known how to do it, but thank to your personal experience it didn't take you over an hour using that straw the way you did. BY the way... I have to chuckle at how red your face gets when you are sucking on that straw...
hope you didn't pop a vessel...

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-24-2002 10:39 AM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2002-10-24 10:34 AM

Hey, Mr. toe...so nice to see you this morning. I knew you'd come back with a good one this morning. Ya'll are a mess. (OOPS, that doesn't sound quite right as a reply to this poem, does it?). Anyway, thanks for sharing with all of us your sweet, lovable ideas of each other. HaHa!!!

Love To All,
Ethel

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2002-10-24 10:55 AM

ROFL... I read the title and thought this was going to be about Cpat losing his hair in the tub... thought what a mess that would be to clean up... little did I know! LOL

Cpat... you're lucky the missus is letting you use the shower... she could be turning on the water hose out in the back yard! LOL (Of course, the neighbors would surely complain... guess she does the best she can. *G*)

You give new meaning to bubble baths, Toe... don't think I'll ever think of one in quite the same way. ROFL!!!!

[This message has been edited by suthern (10-24-2002 11:00 AM).]

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

4 posted 2002-10-24 11:04 AM

Mr. Hair you are mistaken,
You've confused me with Balladeer,
But that's not a problem,
I know we both are weird.

I know how much ya labored,
When you cleaned out his tub,
I didn't know he returned the favor,
(But I've seen his face as red as blood)

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

5 posted 2002-10-24 12:32 PM

bathroom humor at its "uh, finest"?????

are y'all from Texas? No offense to you Texans out there. Oh, er maybe y'all are back in 8th grade.

I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

[This message has been edited by VAS (10-24-2002 12:33 PM).]

Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

6 posted 2002-10-24 01:30 PM

Toe.....

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

7 posted 2002-10-24 02:20 PM

LOL... I don't know what else to say. I think you've shocked the words right out of me.

Kielo

Tammy Blessing
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 366
PA

8 posted 2002-10-24 02:33 PM

ROFLMAO!! Bath time will never be the same again!

SimplyGold
Senior Member

since 2002-07-10

Posts 1453

9 posted 2002-10-24 03:12 PM

Toe,
This is hysterical

Enjoyed, brought me back to earth.

SG

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

10 posted 2002-10-24 05:15 PM

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

11 posted 2002-10-24 05:21 PM

Well, as they say, a friend in need, is a friend in deed.

And yes indeedy, you are a friend.

P.S. Did Cpat supply the straws or did you bring your own?

P.P.S. This was the finest, and classiest, piece of writing I have ever had the pleasure of reading.
God bless you and your talent.

P.P.P.S. May I suggest you post this in Spiritual Journeys. This poem may be received even better than it has been here in Open Forum. Just a thought.

Linda

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

12 posted 2002-10-24 05:38 PM

Toe,
is this a case of I'm forever blowing bubbles or is it more suck in your gut and take it on the chin?
Wierd poem, but I expected no less. I wonder in secret glee whether Cpat knows what he's got into cause you are relentless or some other thing.

Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

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