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Open Poetry #23
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existence continued
| Open Poetry #23 |
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existence continued |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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my weariness has grown into your disapproval like a weed entwining good and bad until we are nearly strangled your substance is like clay not meant to support nor enrich your dry hard cracked purpose in life - to prevent the theft of even your least prized possession extreme hot and cold and lack of moisture with no relief in sight has wilted me and I have grown too weak to uproot myself |
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| © Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ahh..too weak to uproot myself.. biting thoughts and words... painful image of being trapped...and dying from the lack... enjoyed the words... Nice to see you post!!! we don't get to read your words near often enough for my taste!!!! |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Wow the definitive dance of disfunction here. She too weak to make the effort of escape, he a possessive caveman mentality. Been there, done that (now shun that). Good job with few words. "Happy people have no history" - French Proverb |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hello, Jellybeans. This is a very strong write. You got the point across in a few words. Thanks for sharing. Love To All, Ethel |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
A very good job, with few words and surely speaks the truth of a dead relationship. You captured so much I can't begin to elaborate on either victim...for they both are, you know. I don't think this can be improved. It is a great poem. Thank you so much for posting it. Warm Regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
Cpat….well hey do you think stern words will shake a muse into compliance? , my muse could use a good talking to…thanks for your comment my friend RS…good to see you, thank you Ethel, thank you Pat thank you, and yes, I do see the pain in both…its just hard when it seems to have gone past the point of repair. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This one simply hurts to read... the exhaustion of both mind and body is a living thing... perhaps the only thing truly left living in the relationship. Great writing, dear lady... even when my eyes squint against the pain, I seek your words. *S* |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
JellyBeans..am so sorry, I didn't realize you were speaking of yourself. Lost love is difficult, trying to figure out the ~why~ of it, plus, dealing with the multiple, sad feelings. I will be especially careful from now on when posting replies to all poems. thank you...I feel like I was insensitive to your feelings, and I am so sorry. Just one other comment,though both victims, only one ~feels~, the other too often lives vicariously. I've been in this situation, and it seems like such a waste, but sometimes they get help. You are in my prayers, Sincerely, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
suthern, and even that would not be living if it weren't for precious 'trellis's' that hold me up when I am falling *smile* love you lady pat, no do not feel you need apologize, I would hope that it is a piece of poetry, much more than it is 'me', I appreciate your comments on my poetry and your care not to hurt |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh my...surely they are brothers jb... and somehow, "they" have made us sisters...  |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Here....give me your sweet soft hand...let me "uproot" ya....I'll show ya how ya should be treated....(I said pull my hand, not my finger)....nice write....too sad for such a pretty young gal though? |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Depression can be paralyzing, and you have painted a perfect picture of it, JB... I liked your poem a lot but I sure hope you feel stronger soon. I know that debilitating feeling too! It seems that every time you do something which is supposed to make it feel better, it only makes it feel even worse... Feel better soon  ~ cheer up hugs from the chipmunkLyra |
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