Open Poetry #23 |
Father Time |
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Father Time Four and twenty black words baked in a rhyme When the rhyme was read it spoke of father time. It spoke of youth, middle and old age And each the given time on its stage Youth was full of fire and smoke Paid no attention to the stroke And ridiculed the thought of death He breathed in him forever’s breath While middle age could see his fault He brought it to a sudden halt. Began to look for peaceful things For steadiness and sense they bring. Then age began to sum it up And put it in a buttercup He named the cup his holy grail And offered it to no avail. For life begins and ends once more And must evolve as once before Each live. a life of changing prime Each life, a live of father time |
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© Copyright 2002 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Enjoyed the poem Although not so sure of the last stanza, Especially the last two lines Each live. a life of changing prime Each life, a live of father time The switch of words is good, But the last line reads a little rough Friendly suggestion Each life, to live for father time. Although I’m not sure that gives the same meaning you wish. Gloom |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ah...but I love it... it has that touch of esoteric...a whimsy of the metaphysical... and I figure, by your scale? I am, "middle aged" (but then, my desires DO fluctuate)<--Hormones? shmormones? who cares? lol seriously seymour...do you know that I sing to you sometimes? total truth... now? I think I forgot to turn on the expletive coffee pot! morning to you, sy! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) I agree with Karen, this has an excellent metaphysical feel that almost explores the gist of fatherhood and of the essence of what youth is! (big hugggsssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
What has happened to time? It doesn't come around anymore. The very last "time" I saw Was a'whistlin' out the door. Like the write sigh |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Professor Gloom, Each live, a life of changing prime. Each generation goes through the same changes we did. Each life, a live of father time Again each life has it's time and no more. In other words we start from scratch each generation. This makes for difficult control of humanity. Serenity, You are a delight to write to and for. Your mind is sharp and humor excellent. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Seymour darling heart as always your writing is exceptional I love it utterly. The blend of word and intricate rhythm is wonderful as always, and you are an amazing poet. Do not speak of age my friend Not until time is at an end Life calls you to join its dance And wags its head at this nonsense Times hands wait at half past four It is not your time dear Seymour Enjoy the pleasing art of this The wonder of life’s poetic bliss Put aside thoughts of time’s passing by Live life and sing its song Sing it loud and sing it long Too soon will time call you by name Only then will time quench life’s flame Just a bit of nonsense for you darling heart, your writing is beyond compare and seemed to call forth the muse. Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Noah, Thank you, I knew you would understand. Toe, The very last "time" I saw Was a'whistlin' out the door. You better pay attention. LOL Thank you my friend. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Marsha, Thank you for the wonderful poem. Your replies are a delight. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
I like it just the way it is. Especially like the whimsical first two lines, going into more serious to the last two lines which made me stop, and think. That's a good thing. Do not change that last sentence, it is you, it is right! Great way to start the day. Enjoyed it a great deal. Laugh, feel and think, all in one poem! Thanks, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Pat, You are as bright as a new shiny penney. And your comments are always a delight. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Sy, sounds like you have some time on your hands. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Morning Sy! ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Keth, Yes a certain amount. LOL Thank you. Enchantress Thank you and the best of mornings to you. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
What a wonderful read to start my week! *S* I like this very much, Seymour... we definitely appreciate time and the limited amount we're given more as time goes by. *S* |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
I love the graceful rhytmn. A very nice write as usual. aloha, Cher Poetry is: |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Mr. Seymour.....Good Morning to you, Sir. As always, this was a very good read to start my morning with. Yes, Father Time does have a way of catching up with us, doesn't it? But, actually, we are only as old as we feel, I think. Sometimes, I feel every year of my age.....at other times, Gary makes me feel like a little ole teenager!! Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom this morning. Love To All, Ethel |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Seymour - you are amazing!! Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Good Morning, Mr. T. ~ ..........just put this in my library before I forgot to! There now, let's get down to my reply. Actually, I think my first line sums it all up!---a gem of humor and wisdom and truth, definitely worth saving! EA |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
suthern Thank you my dear for the read and comment. Ethel What you said is true, thank you. Chris, THank you for the read and nice reply. Earth Angel You are a doll, thank you. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You, my poet of wisdom and grace are the baker of rhymes divine. Tis when you share your lifes crust with us...that we are enriched with the grains of knowledge that grow in your verdant mind's garden. What am I trying to say with all this mothy jargon, you ask???? That you are my poetic sustenance and I need lots of your rhymes to meet my basic daily requirements... a moth can not live on raspberry tea alone you know. *L* and I love me bakers and poets crusty *winkiewinkie* Unknown to us, there are moments when crevices open for time to come alive with begining. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, You are a blessing for a friend. And I need no further end. But I don't know about Randy? WWRS |
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