~~~*** ~~~

I'll not forget
That tasteless night,
Seven months ago,
When I went out
With Macho Mike
Who had some oats to sow.
He wined me and he dined me,
Then he pushed me on my back,
I swiftly slapped
His face quite red
For I'd have none of that!
He lashed right back
With teeth clenched tight
And said I was a prude,
I asked him what could he expect
Since he was rude and crude!
He laughed and said,
I'd missed my chance,
To have a real man,
I laughed right back
And shoved him hard,
And he landed on his can!
I headed for the nearest house,
And asked to use the phone,
My father said to stay right there,
He'd come and take me home.
I now am more selective,
Of my suitors after work,
For never will I date again,
Another macho jerk!

~~~ *** ~~~

~~~  ***  ~~~

Oh, Mister Toe man,
You thrill me with your lines,
But once the dining's over,
Will you ply me with your wines?
Will you shed your sheep's clothing
And show what's under there
And make me tremble at the sight
Of your long shaggy hair
Will your teeth grow long and pointed
Will your eyes be glowing red
Will you force your will upon me
And push me on your bed
You say you are a gentle man
But how can I be sure
That you will treat me lovingly
And make this angel purr

~~~  ***   ~~~