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Open Poetry #23

No Longer My Will

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

0 posted 2002-12-07 06:45 PM

These arms, laden with burdens
of my own making and not
Can no longer hold fast to
the dream of
Keep it together,
Keep us together,
Keep it forever...

You are wilson on
My journey back to life
And reality

Wave,
then make your
Own...

Sunkissed.

Ice_Queen
Junior Member

since 2002-12-04

Posts 29
Delaware, USA

1 posted 2002-12-08 01:38 PM

Interesting use of a movie scene. Original and Creative of you, and interesting metaphor to boot.

Groovy Oovy

"Love is a heartache waiting to happen,
And a promise never kept."

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2002-12-08 02:20 PM

Sunkissed
Have to agree with Ice_Queen, enjoyed.

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

3 posted 2002-12-08 03:58 PM

Thank you Ice Queen and Seymour. I wasn't sure if anyone was going to notice that part of the poem.

Sunkissed.

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

4 posted 2002-12-10 04:58 AM

..sometimes we simply have to know when to let go--enjoyed!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2002-12-10 06:39 AM

Ah now there you see? I enjoyed the "keep" lines...

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

6 posted 2002-12-10 07:58 PM

You are wilson on
My journey back to life
And reality

Love this!

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