How the pity rises - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #23

How the pity rises

Michael G
Senior Member

since 2000-06-25

Posts 579
Nashville

0 posted 2002-12-06 03:39 PM

in the event that I shall fall
floundering in my sorrow
you could grace me with your tears
flowing over my last sin.
its a slight after affect
of the word play paridise
I have found my self in
tatterd remains of a life lost.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-12-06 03:41 PM

some nice word play in this..and a read to make one pause...

enjoyed

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2002-12-06 04:13 PM

in the event that I shall fall
floundering in my sorrow
you could grace me with your tears
flowing over my last sin.
========================
bittersweet beauty!!!!
where have you been boyeeeeeeeee

just one line ... one rhyme ... one metered verse ...
if only I could inspire in you ... promised poetic coerce.

Michael G
Senior Member

since 2000-06-25

Posts 579
Nashville

3 posted 2002-12-06 09:25 PM

thankyou the two of you, and jm to be answerd in an upcoming post

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