A Little Closer - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2002-11-30 10:40 PM

A Little Closer
©2002 C.G. Ward

'i'll be ready soon,' she said,
dipping a smile into tomorrow,
where life and lips meet.

i nodded,
but she was facing away
and couldn't see
that i meant it.

wednesday,
she ate pizza pie
and bragged about the guy
in her bed:
'he's cute,' she laughed
while i cringed.
but it was just a moment
and i can accept that…
as long as he's her nephew
and my face is the dream.

- - - - - - - - - -

          one could wonder
          at the truth of words,
          if every day didn't bring her
          a little bit closer
          to changing me.

Hold on -
Feelin' like I'm headed for a
breakdown
and I don't know why.
   - MB20

[This message has been edited by Christopher (11-30-2002 10:42 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2002-11-30 11:04 PM

You emote so well, Christopher.
Drop by drop you bleed a little of your heart.

She
Junior Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 41
Wishing On A Northern Star

2 posted 2002-11-30 11:05 PM

You seem to have a way of bringing out the importance of small situations.

"You put a stain on all of my good days."
Matchbox Twenty "Disease"

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

3 posted 2002-12-01 04:03 AM

Aww

(Sorry, I'm just really gushy tonight, so everything fuzzy is great

) Just like this one hehe

No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot.
~ Arthur (Monty Python Search for the Holy Grail)
I'm Rhondiforous!

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

4 posted 2002-12-01 09:39 AM

'he's cute,' she laughed
while i cringed.
but it was just a moment
and i can accept that…
as long as he's her nephew
and my face is the dream.

Cringing, myself, at the timing of this write C and my complete understanding of the moment.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-12-01 09:42 AM

Christopher, I love the way you do this.......
unfolding the situation before your reader's eye.
You are so good at it, too.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (12-01-2002 09:43 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2002-12-01 09:51 AM

...dipping a smile into tomorrow...

great grins here...
your work...evolves...

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

7 posted 2002-12-01 09:58 AM

enjoy

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

8 posted 2002-12-01 10:05 AM

Christoper - The way that you weave your words into baskets full of thoughts to ponder....well...it's awesome!! Going into my library. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2002-12-01 11:08 AM

Christopher

"'i'll be ready soon,' she said,
dipping a smile into tomorrow"

The above is so complete onto itself, it doesn't really need an explanation.

I always read your poetry more than once...that's a good thing.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

10 posted 2002-12-01 11:12 AM

That was sad. I enjoyed your veiws, and just the poem in general. This was a great peice.

Never be normal!

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

11 posted 2002-12-01 12:00 PM

thinking..there is so much more to this than mere words--love it when they make me think!!

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

12 posted 2002-12-01 08:24 PM

-

          one could wonder
          at the truth of words,
          if every day didn't bring her
          a little bit closer
          to changing me.

I could sit and read poetry like this all day, Christopher! Fantastic piece!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

13 posted 2002-12-02 01:21 PM

Oh Christopher, you write so beautifully!

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

14 posted 2002-12-02 01:42 PM

love as the emotion can make us do "funny things"

love as the FEELING can bring us to our knees.....

you poet sir....amaze us....always...hugssss you....

Lauren~

Deep inside the stillness
........I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
........To me

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

15 posted 2002-12-02 06:11 PM

Excellent, Christopher.

Cor

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

16 posted 2002-12-02 06:56 PM

Enjoyed...James

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

17 posted 2002-12-02 07:03 PM

i nodded,
but she was facing away
and couldn't see
that i meant it.

happens all the time....

excellent stuff..

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

18 posted 2002-12-02 10:19 PM

dipping a smile into tomorrow,

and my face is the dream.

My fav lines Christopher.

a beautifully written piece.

Maree

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

19 posted 2002-12-04 01:12 AM

Thank you everyone for taking your time to comment on this. It is one of my very few poems that was intended exactly as presented, with nothing hiding between the lines and phrasings.

Peace n' hugs - C

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

20 posted 2002-12-04 07:11 PM

Your talents astound me my dear friend

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

21 posted 2002-12-04 07:39 PM

Wow that was an awesome poem! "Dipping a smile into tomorrow." That was one of my favorite lines.
Laugh often, love much, live well.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

angsana
Member

since 2002-11-11

Posts 77

22 posted 2002-12-05 03:49 AM

Hi Chris, every line is captivating. Especially this:

"dipping a smile into tomorrow,
where life and lips meet."

...you sure have a way with words and expression. Pls write more for us!!

angsana

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

23 posted 2002-12-05 04:01 AM

Christopher~
You are writing some incredible poetry these days,
and this piece is no exception.
You have some excellent lines in this...

    "'i'll be ready soon,' she said,
     dipping a smile into tomorrow,"

As many have already said, this part is just wonderful,
and, as Martie said, is complete unto itself.
And this...

    "one could wonder
     at the truth of words,
     if every day didn't bring her
     a little bit closer
     to changing me."

What can I say?...poetic perfection, and I love it.
VERY nicely penned piece, Christopher.
I'll definately be looking for more.
Hugs,
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

24 posted 2002-12-06 06:08 PM

"i nodded,
but she was facing away
and couldn't see
that i meant it."

ahhh Kissy Face....
I like how you do this

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

25 posted 2002-12-06 08:12 PM

Christopher, is it? (wink) I rather like the way this poem twists & turns. I would read more of your work, but I've already done that.

some words are golden.

Sunkissed

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

26 posted 2002-12-07 09:03 AM

awww, shucks y'all. thanks for the warm and fuzzies.

Sunkissed - email me, k?

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.