Open Poetry #23 |
![]() ![]() |
His and Hers |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
cherrylips Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51UK |
His and Hers He looks at her She looks at him Primal urges Insatiable desires Feelings of want Feelings of need He wants her She wants him Emotions high Bodies trembling Feelings of want Feelings of need He feels her She feels him A force so strong Neither can deny In each others heart Love for the other lies |
||
© Copyright 2002 Danielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherrylips Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51UK |
Hi guys I am new to this site and well to writing poetry itself. I would love to hear what you have to say but please try to go easy on me. Critical comments welcome cherrylipsx |
||
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
I'm going to go take a cold shower now lol Thanks and a warm welcome to PIP cherrylips [This message has been edited by Aenimal (11-30-2002 01:27 PM).] |
||
Jamie Dawg Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 35 |
well cherry, this is a very intense, though perhaps you could join up the last four lines...it seems a shame to build up so much sexual tension and then have a line break.... all in all though respect JD xx |
||
cherrylips Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51UK |
well aenimal I am er glad you liked it, did try not to make it too explicit lol thanx for your comments cherrylipsx |
||
Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Welcome to Passions. A little sizzle on a Saturday morning starts the day off nicely. |
||
cherrylips Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51UK |
Yes Jamie dont you feel this break is more of a true reflection , how you get your hopes up only for them to be let down trememdously, lol, cherrylipsx |
||
scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
![]() believe in what your heart feels... |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions, Cherry. Please check your E-mail for a Special Greeting! Karilea |
||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Cherrylips, welcome to piptalk or as it's more fondly known, Passions. I'm sure you'll fit right in. your poem shows style and emotion and I liked the way you followed the guidelines and showed restraint. ![]() Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown [This message has been edited by Kethry (11-30-2002 03:07 PM).] |
||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS! Enjoyed your first post! I'll be looking forward to more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Life is too short not to believe in Santa Claus ~ |
||
zenny Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 371Belgium |
Welcome to passions cherrylips ![]() Very nice start, i felt the tension building up, i enjoyed ur write ![]() Hope to see some more of urs soon |
||
Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() (smiles) Awwwwwwww, this is such a gorgeous and passionate debut, sweet friend, you speak of love so beautifully here, I LOVE IT!!! Welcomne to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! ![]() ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
"I liked the way you followed the guidelines and showed restraint. Kethry" LOLOLOL!!!!!! ![]() Welcome, cherrylips! ![]() |
||
Bob Banger New Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 4 |
this was right powerful stuff. Nice to see another new member getting their teeth in. Cheers for the good times, top banana. Bob Banger |
||
inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
i think desire is lying in more than the heart, honey!!!!!! |
||
D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Ahem! Well...that just makes an interesting mental image! Nevertheless...I really enjoyed this piece (for the quality of work, not the mental imagery, mind you!). Hope to see more of your work soon! Zai jian Carson If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." (If only...>; P) |
||
She Junior Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 41Wishing On A Northern Star |
![]() I enjoyed the urgency of this. ![]() ![]() You're new to writing poetry? What prompted you to start writing? ![]() "You put a stain on all of my good days." |
||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Perfect...James |
||
CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
smiles....it fits Passions ![]() welcome and hugs, Cher Poetry is: |
||
Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Delicious! Welcome! |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |