»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #23
»
Night Strafing
| Open Poetry #23 |
|
Night Strafing |
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
The alarm went off at three With a wail like some warning siren Telling us the day was to be Filled with shrapnel words You need to be up early to work as you try to Keep the ranks filed and search For the landmines But that was before the fighting words you spoke saying You were sick of this So I was the one who rose And cancelled the wail After giving you thirty minutes To react or order Awake There is no sleep No anger No answers Perhaps those come later, When the shots fired in your daily Ricochet into flesh wounds I will heal from Regardless of retreat of attack Monday, Monday… How I hate that day But then again Perhaps you hate me more Than I hate the late night Bombs being dropped |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Ron, I know when I see your name I am in for an interesting read. This one is no exception. Much enjoyed. ~Hugs~ ~Love, like magic, depends on believing~ |
||
|
Constance Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393Ohio |
Wow! Powerfully penned. We enlisted, low-rankers do get the front-line blues, don't we? You said this very well. Incoming!!!! |
||
|
Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Shrapnel words... how much this says. How sharp the sting. |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
A very intense read, Ron ... excellent imagery, reminding me of many a battle of words, and how strong a weapon they can often be. Very much enjoyed your concept throughout this piece!  Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
But then again Perhaps you hate me more Than I hate the late night Bombs being dropped I've gotta admit, that one never occurred to me. This makes me wanna go back to bed--er, make that couch. sigh. *rubbing my head* This is all too real for comfort. |
||
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
A blitzkrieg of disfunction, a call to harms. |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Yikes, what a strong metaphor here, Cpat. I'm thinking this is more about a relationship than a literal battle ground, yes? Corinne |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Not a very harmonious situation, I gather! I find whatever you write--intriguing! EA |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sometimes the pain of harsh words hurt longer than a piece of shrapnel left in your body. I always retreat to silence in times like this. I understand, sir. |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Ron, this is powerful, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you for harsh words hurt so much and I believe the only persons business it is in criticizing is yourself! (sigh) My heart goes out to you, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~Ron, (may I?),...just reading this again and wanting to leave a note to let you know. I haven't any clever response, just this grip in my chest, this sore knowing. Take care. *Peace. |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ouch, I have been there.....and I only wish that being able to write it as perfectly as you did, would make it better.... hugs |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Telling us the day was to be Filled with shrapnel words I remember these days too well. You've written them vividly, Ron. |
||
|
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Ron, such good use of imagery here...I felt like I was there. Well done, sir! The stars will shine when I am gone, |
||
|
regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, You do have a way of capturing the moment (s). Very powerful and an almost classic situation. The title is good. So clever of you & the metaphors very interesting. You are so creative. Enjoyed. Warm Regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (11-26-2002 07:20 PM).] |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
War will never be pleasant be it in the field, in the office, or in the bedroom. If someday compassion could replace imposition... Very powerful, Ron. -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt., you made this so vivid with your words, that I felt like I was in the middle of war. You write so realistically. I enjoy reading your work. Thanks for sharing with us. "Love makes the world go around" |
||
|
Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Ron...I read this once and was so struck by the intensity of your words then I read it again and felt the burning message you send with this touching write...Paul |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
...the day was to be Filled with shrapnel words You need to be up early to work as you try to ... ...I was the one who rose And cancelled the wail ... Monday, Monday… How I hate that day But then again Perhaps you hate me more Than I hate the late night Bombs being dropped --------- yep, some relationships can sour and reflect shadows as worse as those in a war... well written... Regards, Sudhir |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very interesting...James |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
INCOMING!!!! Sorry, it just makes me happy to be here in my shack, without such worries. All the best Bud, fine writin'. Ed |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron Maybe it is just enough to know the turth...even if it hurts. Hugs to you, my friend. |
||
|
Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Sometimes, we don't need an alarm to know the war has begun, this is an awesome write--and quite stinging in its delivery! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
