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Open Poetry #23
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The bar was horseshoe shaped
| Open Poetry #23 |
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The bar was horseshoe shaped |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
It was in a bar called Winston’s just before hitting the Alabama border, that I saw her, again I’d been driving north for twelve hours not even the broadest destination in mind content with the motion until a sign blinked in the night offering ‘cold beer’ The bar was horseshoe shaped wondering where I should sit for luck, then wondering…for luck with what? I took a stool towards the back As one’s life plays before them at the moment of their death I saw her, again a flash flood of beauty and devastation stepping from sleek to red clay in the first instant I knew the end of the story would not change still again my heart gave no notice to the screams as she brushed my arm walking by Love loves a fool who am I to argue? She held my gaze with equal surprise though not a hint of trepidation the corner of her eye holding me, another moment enough for a chill enough for a fever enough Suddenly, I felt the breath return to my chest, jaw unclench, feet step toward the floor and I wondered, was I drunk or just crazy as I heard myself order her a beer |
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| © Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
...will be back D. Just wanted to say... yeah. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i hear yuh on this one |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"in the first instant I knew the end of the story would not change still again my heart gave no notice to the screams as she brushed my arm walking by" ------------------------------------------- Duncan I love this! I do hope we will see more...please??? ~Hugs~ ~Love, like magic, depends on believing~ |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh Duncan this was just perfect! You make good use of your heart when you're buying and writing and telling it like it is~ |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Oh yes, Duncan, I'm waiting for a continuance, too. "Love makes the world go around" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
a flash flood of beauty and devastation stepping from sleek to red clay in the first instant I knew the end of the story would not change still again my heart gave no notice to the screams as she brushed my arm walking by Love loves a fool who am I to argue? ============================== when your muse gets long winded...its a very cool thing.... me thinks ya just found a new niche' ..or is that itch?  oh yes...you WILL be giving us more of this...or else you will have a moth curse put on you... gives a whole new meaning to flame very very cool write D. No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ... |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
enjoyed--begs a part II! "I am a sky where spirits live. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
You have us waiting for more...write on Duncan!! ...believe what your heart feels... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan The whole write seems so familiar, enjoyed. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
reminds me of someone.... Great telling that expertly leaves us wanting to hear the next installment. good stuff Duncan... always a pleasure to open up one of your offerings and see what gems you have left for us to ponder. |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
enough for a chill enough for a fever enough said  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow Duncan, this is cool  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Smiling here at your predicament...getting caught in a flash flood. Still got your life preserver handy?  |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssssss) Oh Duncan, this is excellent, sweet friend, I LOVE IT, you are a master at storytelling and narration, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan Great story...human and interesting..leaving the reader wondering what happens next??? |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
what i wanted to say here, I kind of summed in your other, more recent post. there seems to me a dearth of emotional imagery in poetry these days, while there is a surplus, my op, of visual imagery. i prefer the former, personally, with just a bit of the latter thrown in for balance and realism. you've hit that on this and i dig it. |
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TriXter Member
since 2002-03-20
Posts 112The One |
Nice, i really liked this poem The man of few words... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
much applause Dunc... the amazing thing about Iambe, is that she helps you find your voice... I ADORE THIS... I'm saving it. There is an inherent rhythm I much admire and the line breaks are pure ART. SIGH...sigh..sigh. |
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