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Vacancy
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Vacancy |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Here the window is open And the breeze, Still warm from left over summer Wafts reminiscent of days Followed by shadowed stars, That wrapped us in believing all would be right all would forever be green So sit with me And stare over blank eyed houses Crowded in tight shoulder to the sea. Proving the owners have no more idea of the beauty they corrupt Than they do of their own demise. If the fog lifts Our vision might clear enough for us to glimpse Waves crashing somewhere on reefs That beckoned others in adventure To leave their bones with One Mistake Some might think it morbid Or sad such things run through the mind On late summer night when all is quiet, But it is the errors I see in becoming deluded Into thinking the fairy tales are true That leads us to forget the fact It isn’t about you or me That there is no guarantee Here the window is openly wafting warm And winter is still to come So rest with me a moment And let me savor what could have been With a soft touch of face Perhaps a tender kiss Before dawn breaks Again |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It isn't about you or me... how many times we come crashing to earth when we realize that it does not revolve around us and its gravity is so great that we can only slip away in permanence... and not in fantasy... a crashing good read, this... now let me soar... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
*SIGH* (of the mothy kind)  No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sunshine... thanks for the thoughts and taking time to read. Playing with animage I saw, of two sitting on a window ledge looking out over a coastal village..and just had to make my own story... JM... Mothy Sigh? ( smiling) no need for sighs.... just telling stories... as the things in my head that are trying to writ ethemselves look for the form and place to do so... something about a room... and a floor that have not quite gelled..so I write about a window instead..( laughing) |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt., I love your stories, Sir. Keep telling them to us in your own elegant style...the way only you can do. I look forward to more. "Love makes the world go around" |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron It may be just a story, but it comes through a bitter-sweet curtain that the heart has stitched.  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ethel, Thank you for the kind words. I never know if another story is going to write itself or not... and am sometimes as surprised as anything when one does. Glad you enjoyed. Martie: We all write through our own... we see that all the more evident in the words you share with us. Thanks for the hug dear friend |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Wow. I am speechless (that never happens...lol). And damned envious. Almost makes me wanna give up brevity. This is honestly one of your best, I think Ron. So many great lines and moments. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
To leave their bones with One Mistake Some might think it morbid Or sad such things run through the mind On late summer night when all is quiet, But it is the errors I see in becoming deluded Into thinking the fairy tales are true That leads us to forget the fact It isn’t about you or me That there is no guarantee a quiet "yes"--this aches. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This is utterly superb! I love absolutely everything about it--I mean EVERYTHING! You are a master of this craft! Your word touch me everywhere--I felt it in my heart, my soul and my body! This p..........I just had to save it before I forgot to!..This poem of love was masterfully written and with such finesse. EA |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Duncan: I have read enough of your works to know there is no need for you to be envious and I certainly hope you do not give up brevity, as it is indeed atreat for me to open one of your works and read. I thank you for the kind words..and am honored you enjoyed. Ser: a quiet yes? it aches..... You, the master at writing the ache and the struggle, would I am sure write the scene in much more vivid tones and hues than me, bringing out more depths and understanding than this simple offer... if it aches...it only scratches the surface of the ache you could expose...if you saw in your mind what I did looking at the image... Thanks for reading..and for commenting |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
EA... you are far too kind in praise and certainly generous..thank you... I am glad you found it something you enjoyed. |
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S Arthur Grey Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719woven by a poet's loom |
by the moistened eye . . . and knowing what lies hidden in the fog . . . Well done, Sir, well done ! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
S Arthur Grey: Sir..thank you... glad you found something in it. |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Ron, you have truly tapped into the "Russian soul" here... This one feels like an immaculate translation from Russian into English while still retaining the legendary yearning and somber regret... Amazing. -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Mark: Thank you. I do nothing but listen to what the images tell me or the moment cries... it is at times interesting to me to go back and read what I wrote.... and wonder where did that come from and why. Still in all, I believe we write what is inside us to some degree and always see the world through the glasses this life has put on our face... many thanks for the kind words... and it is interesting to me that it wrote itself like a translation... and you picked up on it.. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
This has a subtle gut-wrenching quality left for the reader to comprehend. What I thought was a nice touch is you left hope as a bottom line. ~dawn breaks, again.~ I like that and I believe it, always! Warm Regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thanks Pat... glad you enjoyed and that you found hope in it. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Here the window is open And the breeze, Still warm from left over summer Wafts reminiscent of days Followed by shadowed stars, That wrapped us in believing Wow...amazing write!! Enjoyed. Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thank you Chris... you are too kind... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Gee...now I know your name... Ron, this has an ache to it, a little bluesy and with a touch of nostalgia in it... Kinda like Rod Serling bringing in the next episode of The Twilight Zone... I can see all of those houses, empty, shoulder to shoulder....obscuring an otherwise perfect view!! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Barry.. thank you for the read, and the kind words... I enjoy reading you much more than I have commented on you... I find I sometimes simply have no words to explain what went on in my head when I read you..and end up saying nothing.. |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Oh so tender and bittersweet--lovely! "I am a sky where spirits live. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Damn Ron! Change your brand of beer? I do like the direction that you seem to have taken. The writing, I mean. Ed |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This has such a gut wrenching feel to it, Ron... It seems like a simple story, told through the gauzy memories of time  ~ loving rodent hugsLyra |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sandpiper: Thanks for the read and comment.. glad you found something in it to like Ed: Changing brands won't help much I'm afraid. As for directions I have taken... well I'm not even sure I am not just purging the last of the needs to express... appreciate you dropping in bud.. Lyra: Thanks dear one for dropping by...and for leaving a few words. created from an image..nothing more.. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Lovely writing, Cpat. But! I seem to be noticing a trend in your work - of isolation, of being alone. or lonely. I herewith bequeth you an assignment - should you choose to meet the challenge, that is, to create and construct with mighty pen and ink - a funny, silly poem! Closing now before I get meeself into trouble. Corinne |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Then again, trouble can be good! Cor |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
why you think you are getting yourself in trouble is beyond me... I'm a natural smart a.. and certainly have thick skin..so unless you are getting yourself in trouble some way..it isn't with me...  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Beautiful!!! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thank you... glad you liked! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"But it is the errors I see in becoming deluded Into thinking the fairy tales are true That leads us to forget the fact It isn’t about you or me That there is no guarantee" You are making me think again when all I want to do is stargaze. |
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