He Knew - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

0 posted 2002-11-08 09:19 AM

I wasn't expecting
to find them there
just the simple words
please know, I care.
I felt a caress
a gentle touch
my sweet love
they meant so much.
Right now, this moment
I feel you here
with me in time
our hearts so near.

WhiteRose

"my reflection becomes me"

[This message has been edited by WhiteRose (11-08-2002 09:30 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2002-11-08 09:22 AM

WhiteRose
Sweet poem, enjoyed.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2002-11-08 09:22 AM

Very nice feel to this.

In the line "a gentle heart touch" I think it would be stronger if you left out 'heart' here. You do use it later, more effectively and having it here might weaken the impact of the second instance.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

3 posted 2002-11-08 09:31 AM

Thank you Sy, glad you enjoyed

VAS, you were right, and I took it out. It does flow better. Thanks so much.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2002-11-08 09:47 AM

Anne, I enjoyed this sweet love poem.
Thanks for sharing.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-11-08 10:43 AM

I loved this lovely love poem.. lol.. Thank you for sharing.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2002-11-08 11:45 AM

(sigh) Oh Anne, this is gorgeous, sweet friend, you always describe each moment of lifes beauty with heart and a smile, this is delightful, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Anne, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

7 posted 2002-11-08 02:02 PM

cute and mushy. quite nice for its purpose, but you'll pardon me for being overly affected by it.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.