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BabyGirl721
Junior Member

since 2002-11-07

Posts 12
California, USA

0 posted 2002-11-08 04:06 PM

Meeting you was a dream come true
I never knew I would fall for you
Your smile makes me melt,
Your sweetness makes me feel great
Why do you treat me this way?

I'm crushing on you
And I dont know what to do
I wish you felt the same way too

Your smile makes me melt
What can I do?
Your sweetness makes me feel great
Oh I'm crushing on you
What can I do?
I wish you liked me too

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

1 posted 2002-11-08 04:47 PM

You're touching on some universal feelings and circumstances here, BabyGirl721... may I suggest you try to apply some wisdom a poetry professor once told me: "show me -- don't tell me"... What are some examples of HOW this person is sweet? WHAT do they do? Perhaps consider some clever synonyms to stand in for the traditional words of "you", "do", "true"... or maybe swap their order around in a new and different way... These are simply some ideas, and their are countless others but hopefully they might inspire you a little... In any case, don't stop perfecting your craft!

-MVS

"AS ABOVE SO BELOW"

[This message has been edited by MARK V SHELDON (11-08-2002 05:00 PM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2002-11-13 05:59 PM

Like this...James

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2002-11-13 07:27 PM

(smiles) Oh Irina, I know these feelings ever too well, and I agree with what Mark said. Show him how much he means to you and then maybe he has a secret confession for you he'll reveal when he finally knows he means so much to you! (sigh) I wish the best for you, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Irina, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

4 posted 2002-11-13 07:52 PM

Enjoyed.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

5 posted 2002-11-14 06:49 PM

You depict the feeling very well.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will break my heart"

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