please respond Im entering a contest for school

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Guardurthoughts
Member

since 2001-10-16

Posts 66

0 posted 2002-10-30 09:03 PM

Hands of the unknown write as one in a race against life,
to beat all odds, to impact the hearts of the envious we do not know.
Written to steal the souls of those in anguish,
spoken to calm the hearts of the wistful. As we call out for the fearless, we scream for the perfect.
Quietly love whispers to the lost, and calms those basking in its brilliance
Waiting as we watch the change, as the song of the minstrel brings a sweet smile.
Bravery is in the words, power drips off its very promise.
Eyes all around etched in silver lining of courage watch as life brings strife of all sorts.
Everyday people press onward, everyday life passes us by,
Everyday a sonnet helps a man through the backroads of despair.
Each moment is filled with courage unknown to the enemies, then boom it fills the world up.
Everyday A word, unlike any other may affect you like never before
....Be prepared.
….courage spreads.

____________________________________I also posted this is another forum but I needed the imput faster then what is going on there thanks!!

~~~Gaurdurthoughts~~~

"the best and most beautiful things cannot be seen,or even touched. they must be felt with the heart"

[This message has been edited by Guardurthoughts (10-31-2002 09:27 AM).]

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

1 posted 2002-10-30 09:23 PM

I thought that it was a very powerfull peice, that showed strength and character. If you are trying to sound mysterious, then you have exceeded the standards of mystery, but I had a bit of trouble figuring out the meaning. I think it ment to show your bravery, but I am unsure. But I think editing it would take the magic away from the poem, so just keep it the way it is.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-10-30 09:31 PM

(big hugggssssssss) Oh my gosh, I love this, oh my gosh, what a coincidence! My sister is in school too and she also has an assignment to write someone under the theme of "courage". (smiles) Are you sure you dont go to Ralston Valley High Schhol? LOL! I think this is a wonderful entry, sweet friend, I wish you the best in the contest, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Erica, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Tammy Blessing
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 366
PA

3 posted 2002-10-31 08:39 AM

I really love this write and I wouldn't change a thing. Well maybe ONE thing..this line:
Everyday a sonnet helps a man threw the backroads of despair.

I'd change the threw to through. Unless you were going for throw? Just a suggestion. Great write! Hope you do well on your assignment!!
Tammy

Guardurthoughts
Member

since 2001-10-16

Posts 66

4 posted 2002-11-02 11:57 PM

told you sweety everyone would love it...love ya.....meeh

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