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Jilted
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Jilted |
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LTEvans Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72Lenham, England |
Jilted All the things I said, You still are. All the things you said, Are all true. But of all the lies I told, Was “I love you” the worst? But of all the lies you told, Was “I know” the first? You said, “Let me stay.” I heard you say, “I won’t make you pay” I thought, “So you say.” You build me up, The knock me down, Pull me up tear me in two, Rip me up and scatter me round, Then burn me to the ground, Rub my ashes onto a new sound, Feel no shame, Eat your fame. We all feel that we are, Acting alone, Playing along, Some might say that we are, Following suit, Flowering fruit, We need no introduction, Paying out your reputation, Leading the blind, Leaving them behind, I think they lost their patience, I demand to be cremated, Such a thing creates, Because words are not that important. |
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| © Copyright 2002 LTEvans - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wvplayernotreally Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215yakima wa |
"You build me up, The knock me down, Pull me up tear me in two, Rip me up and scatter me round, Then burn me to the ground, Rub my ashes onto a new sound, Feel no shame, Eat your fame." I really liked this line...good job. this is the first thing i read of yours but i am looking forward to more " I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking." |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
LTEvans~ I really like this piece. I enjoyed the rhythm and flow as well as the rhyme scheme. The combination of these, together with the content, make for an enjoyable read. Well done.  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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