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Teen Poetry #6
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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain 
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in the background my world crashes down or so i thought a thousand times a blink caught the conciesence of my soul dreams of your hand sliding into mine can you tell me who i really am i know you can tell better than i could ever slight emotions are shown through the eyes but at this time of your life it is more obvious than not that you care laugh along with me please for alone it is scary in this big world myself is lonely but not for long supposing the suddle difference of two souls so much alike yet growing apart so quickly my being is developing so quickly mind and body sharp as a whip yet the sharpest minds could be melted by your crystal eyes in the dullest dim into a silent pool of wisful emotions i know in a little while everything will be ok but in a little while i'll be thinkin about you* smiles unknown to the world suddenly found by a digger of love searching for silver and finding gold like a diamond in the ruff you find me buried and help me revive for that i thank you ~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~ |
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| © Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
This write is absolutely wonderful. The first three stanzas are fanstastic. The last few stanza's slip a little but it's hard to keep up the quality that you found in the first three. Well done. Michelle. ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I completely disagree with Angelshell... I actually felt this come alive in the fourth stanza with some creative imagery. The first three stanzas were not quite as good as the fourth and fifth, in my opinion, but they are still as good as they should be and should not be touched. Another wonderful piece of writing from you, Riley. I'm starting to really enjoy reading from you. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Thank you all for replying!! I am trying my hardest and I guess its paying off huh? ~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~ |
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