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Teen Poetry #6
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Not the object of your affection
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Not the object of your affection |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
Can't believe what I see Your lost in his eyes Didn't even consider me Sick of all these lies False hopes to shattered dreams Thoughts been misguided Not always how things seem These feelings collided Wanted to be your friend Led to an uncontrollable feeling One you don't comprehend A loneliness that's not healing Without you I'm incomplete Never wanted someone so bad Don't wanna accept defeat No use in me getting mad Guess it wasn't meant to be A mere hopeless fantasy Never had feelings for me You were too blind to see |
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| © Copyright 2002 ShadyMakaveli - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Darkness Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies. |
I liked the flow of this poem. It was good. Wanted to be your friend Led to an uncontrollable feeling One you don't comprehend A loneliness that's not healing I like this stanza the best. I too have been down that long winding road of lonliness. It sucks. Great Work! Darkness |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Shady~ There is a whole lot of emotion in this piece, and you've expressed it very well. I enjoyed this.  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
I am extremely taken to the last stanza. The way everything rhymes in it but it doesn't sound tacky or anything to that effect. Anyways, I also like the stanza mentioned above. Good job, expressed very well. Riley ~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~ |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey, i really liked this it flowed very well ~samantha~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
well, i can only mimic everyone else, i liked this and it flowed well. good job and thanks 4 the read  What You Can't Have- You Can't Resist |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
A mere hopeless fantasy Never had feelings for me You were too blind to see This is the way i think of my ex best friend. A guy that made me fall in love with him, then when he got it to happen poof he was gone from my life. Im glad that I got the chance to read this. ~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~ [This message has been edited by Erin (11-21-2002 11:22 PM).] |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
Wow I love all of your work!!! I have been waiting for you to post more so i could reply. I hope you dont mind but i have copied some of your poems down in a book because your words remind me so much of me and how i feel. if you have msn add me [email protected] and if not and you just want sumone to talk to who can relate to your probs email me Thanks so much for your words and thoughts Ashleigh It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In. |
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CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
WOW... that is so deep.. I can relste to that so well ::weeps:; Keep up the awesome work, You are heading full speed in the right direction!! ^.^ Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it? |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
Thank you all for your responses, and taking the time out to read my poem, it's most appreciated. |
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