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Teen Poetry #6

Fire Burning Within

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

0 posted 2003-06-10 12:23 PM

lt's crap, l know, but it's one l wrote about 1 1/2 months ago.. hopefully l've gotten better since.

Eyes of ice, not so distant,
looking into forever's eternity,
eyes of pain warring with love.
So like you, and so different,
and knowing you see
eyes of nothingness,
eyes of ice when you look at me.
But behind a sheltering cold
lies a blaze of light,
heat only to those
with the privelage,
or so l'll always pray.
lm not a good person,
and l'm not pretty,
l'm not beautiful, but tell me,
when you look pastthe death,
can you see something
worth fighting for?
l'll pray silently,
to the god l once tried to see,
and l'll hope, offering homage,
to heathan creatures of power,
offering homage to evil,
that theres something to live for.
When you look into my eyes,
gaze past the ice, past the death,
past the nothingness l claim,
and see the fire l hope is
burning within.

[This message has been edited by laurie (06-10-2003 12:25 AM).]

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

1 posted 2003-06-10 12:37 PM

I REALLY like this one. I'm somewhat of a pyro(

), so the title caught my eye. Witht his poem, you put into words a lot of things that I can't. Good work.
-Jen

If you listen hard enough silence can mean more than words.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2003-06-10 01:10 AM

Very strong -- I like this! The way you focus the imagery down to one burning point...excellent.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

3 posted 2003-06-10 10:52 PM

thanx... imagery?!? huh. well, l guess thats good, though l never thought to be told l write with imagery, even once.
thanx again, thats a comment l've always wanted to hear!
laurie.

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