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Teen Poetry #6
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Deeper Waters
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Deeper Waters |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain 
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I wrote this poem while listening to some song....which explains the Dela thing ( thats what the songs called and it is from George of the JUNGLE!!!! )And the compl....is just, well u might figure it out... Well here it is.......( originally called Fourth Grade ) Like a silver moon seeking the gold Dela when I saw the leaves burn The flames rise up past the black Brushing my face making me twist Isn’t it always like that? Life at first sight Be careful not to trip Where are the green leaves going mama Back to the path where they belong Mama? Yes doll, Am I a green leaf? no answer from her lips Mama, I want to go back to my path I want to go back, I'm scared My simple grace Complex innocence Understandable that confusion is a companion When I hear the birds sing it slices me The fact I can’t give them the words I want to To shine through with a true voice The shadows are my only hope To escape this horrid place I will find comfort in their light Yet there will always be a hole Left by your compl… Mama? Yes, doll I want to go back to my path please ~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~ [This message has been edited by Riley (11-11-2002 06:32 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Pollita Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220the unknown realm of insanity |
OMG THIS IS GOOD...I LIKED IT...hope to see more from you...laterz |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Thankies muchly ~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~ |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Yeah I liked it Ri. Good job  "Sticks and stones will break my bones, |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
woah. liked this one. good job.  What You Can't Have- You Can't Resist |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Riley~ Wow! This is an incredible write! There is so much depth to this and I just LOVE it. These lines say so much... "Life at first sight Be careful not to trip" Very powerful...just perfect. I believe this may be my favorite of yours. It's definately in the top 3. Keep up the great writing! Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
To everyone: Thanks for taking the time to reply to my poor poem.... Vicky: depth? * drowns * I kinda wrote this about the fourth grade ( or thats the direction I tried to take it ) and I dunno. Fourth grade having depth? Have to think about that one. Thanks again. Riley ~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~ |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
this was pretty good, i liked the ending ~samantha~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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lonelyone2032 Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 13 |
wow~ nice poem i really liked it! |
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LesterVisaya Junior Member
since 2002-11-16
Posts 21 |
Everything that i was suppose to say was said already by all the peeps above me..thanks 4 the poem |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Riley~ Okay then...perhaps the 'depth' lies in my interpretation, rather than in your intended meaning...LOL. Either way, I still love it. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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