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Teen Poetry #6
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That Truth Was Blamed
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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That Truth Was Blamed |
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Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain 
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Flourishing green in its prime of life Spinning down a drain pipe Restricting it Inspecting every shrewd piece Its senses alert Fully focused Soaking in the suns flaccid rays Yet at its peak it spirals up even so Despite obvious dues To reconcile all important details And speak Spite all of the emeralds around Only technically really But it still bares down Pain strikes with repetitive chorus Of sweet singing voices that let up And you hear the bang Feel it Does it inspire the green grasses? No It kills And it's entirely the ivy's fault For being there And not protecting it Not alright yet But close Just good for now ~*I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous, that for you to decide, if you really wanna know me, see the world through my eyes*~ [This message has been edited by Riley (11-08-2002 05:38 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
Did u really just start writing this summer??i dont believe it cuz this poem was awesome!!  "I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Foreverwithyou: I have been writing stories and things such as that for all my life. Writing has always interested me I guess. But as far as poetry goes, yea, this summer is when I started to write. Thanks for your reply! Riley ~*Pain strikes my heart, water drips down my face, I now stand in front of you, full of shame and disgrace*~ |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
I enjoyed this.. I always wanted one of those houses with ivy creeping up on the sides... then again- i'm far from owning a house. Good write. ~!sara!~ |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmmm... I like it, but I do think that a bit of punctuation would make the impact of it even better  To me it kinda flowed all together without any punctuation. :/ *grins* Keep at it hun, you can only get better the more you write!I'm so cute! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Oooh... I love it. I would just change the one line, "it's the ivy's entire fault," to "it's entirely the ivy's fault," which would sound better. Punctuation.. blah, who needs it. Not you, Miss Riley.  Parasite |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Punctuation is not me....not my style at all...I have tried, it doesn't go with me. LP: Thankies!!!!! You love it :tear:  hehe.My friends called me a prep today. I am not a prep....am I? Send me an answer I am scared. ( [email protected] ) whoooooo. Ok enough. Thankies everyone. Riley ~*Pain strikes my heart, water drips down my face, I now stand in front of you, full of shame and disgrace*~ |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Riley~ You never cease to impress me. This is yet another wonderful write from you, and as always, I enjoyed reading it. Very nicely done. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
No, you're not a prep. I liked the poem, and the title is a really good way to draw people in.  --Beth Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping. |
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