Teen Poetry #6 |
Our Final Days |
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I've been thinking; do you want in? Would you like to now? What I've been wonderin' is... Should I let you go. Can you hear my heart is aching. Should I let you go? Won't you come and comfort in our final days? Constant sorrow constant joy. You know my love should be fading. It's for you that this heart beats. Won't I ever find a resolution? I've been thinking... Should I let you go. Can you hear my heart is aching. Should I let you go? Won't you come and comfort in our final days? I've been thinking... this'll never fade. So please, comfort me. [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (11-05-2002 09:36 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*hugs* knowing what I know, I want to write a sappy reply, but I can't come up with one that won't make this seem like I'm not taking you seriously. So instead I'll offer you a hug and make sure you know that you can always talk to me, no matter what. Detatched, my foot, Ti. I'm always here for you dude. Always. I'm so cute! |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
This read like a song, were you intending it on being? This felt rather sad, and we cant have our little Danniti feeling sad now can we? Cheer up mate One thing that got me though; your use of punctuation is very...er...eclectic.. It threw the flow off a couple of times. Other then that, I think you did ok Are you scared? BOO! Are you now? |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
It's a song, Cherrygirl. I like to say my music masqurades as poetry. And, yes, it should be sad. Sincerely, Titus "A life unexamined is not worth living." |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Eclectic is a great word... heh I like this Titus... you wrote it very nicely. "heart is aching" is so overused though... Yeah, well, keep doin' your own thing. I ain't stopping ya. Parasite |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Titus~ There is a lot of sadness in this song/poem, and it's very beautifully expressed. You are definately growing in your writing, and I'm enjoying reading it. I sincerely hope that things are looking up for you. You, of all people, deserve to be happy. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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