Teen Poetry #6 |
Her Everything |
Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"Her Everything" (02/11/02) © 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved Verse 1 18 years without her touch / is 18 years too much / Why haven't I seen her before / when she live almost next door / Cause it makes no sense to me / but she's here now and I see / That now's what really matter /what if I didn't have her / All of the things I would have missed / I would have missed / Chorus The moments / the nights / The love / the special times / her everything / The secrets / the smiles / The feel / of a new life / her everything / Verse 2 I complete her and she me / emotions growing deep / I know that we can make it / there's nothing here to breake it / For we can live forever / won't let me, won't let her go / But there's always that strange feeling / what if I'm just dreaming / All the thing's that never came true / never came true / Chorus The moments / the nights / The love / the special times / her everything / The secrets / the smiles / The feel / of a new life / her everything / Bridge Now I'm the only, only one / who shares what she has to give Yes I'm the only, only one / who will ever live / to SEE... Chorus The moments / the nights / The love / the special times / her everything / The secrets / the smiles / The feel / of a new life / her everything / |
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© Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
You wrote this nicely Brian. Except for a few spelling errors and junk, which isn't as important as the song itself, I have no complaints. If this is truely about someone you care for, I hope they eventually get to read/hear it. Write more, post more. quote: “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Wow, I really like your ending, good endings always get to me. Yay, this was written very well. Great job. Laura Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Not bad... you've been doing a better job lately of picking less common ways of phrasing things. I always enjoy your work most when it seems more creative. Great work here. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Hallucination~ I REALLY enjoyed this one. I'd have to say that this is my favorite of yours, thus far. Very nicely done. ~Vicky P.S. Don't forget to check out Teen Challenge #2! "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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