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Encarta
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 101
My homeland is not of the world

0 posted 2002-09-18 07:13 PM

Fools
by
Matt

We say, "I love you"
but do we know what we say
We feel someting in our hearts
And swear it every day

We plan for tomorrow
But never today
We comfert each other
And wipe the tears away

Yet the day will come
when we know it's not true
We go our seprate ways
saying, "I love you"

And when the pain subsides
And our eyes no longer holds the dew
We say to another
"I love you"

"They do not love that do not show their love.”-Shakespeare

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

1 posted 2002-09-18 08:03 PM

wow!!!!!! i really honestly liked this A LOT!!!!!!!!! its goin in my library! welcome 2 piptalk if i'm not 2 late lol

~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

2 posted 2002-09-19 04:18 AM

I like what you're saying in this. That sometimes people fall in love too quickly and fall out of love as equally quick. And then they move on and say the same things to another person.

Nice write Matt, looking forward to reading more from you.

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-09-19 01:05 PM

Very nice.  It's often a tad risky for a poet to touch on such a topic as the utter frailty of love.  Romantics might argue that love is indestructable.  But what do we really mean?

Indeed, it is a good question you raise.

Constructively, I don't have any suggestions.  You didn't have a definite rhythm or flow, and that might be something you could consider in future works... but this does nicely without it.  Your use of rhyme compliments the themes very well.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-07-02

Posts 551
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2002-09-19 02:10 PM

I love the subject matter. This was great. Thanks for the read.

~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~

www.enterthemuse.com

Encarta
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 101
My homeland is not of the world

5 posted 2002-09-19 11:32 PM

I thought there was a rhyme pattern where the first and third lines, in each paragraph, don't rhyme, but the second and last do. I must've been mistaken, I don't know to much of the rhyming patterns.
Thanks for your comments everyone, they were greatly aprieciated.

"They do not love that do not show their love.”-Shakespeare

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