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How Foolish of Me
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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How Foolish of Me |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"How Foolish of Me" (10/29/02) © 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved Verse 1 As I go on to catch my breath, I somehow lose you. Oh, darling.... As days go bymy heartstring screams, With the oldest blues. Oh darling... How, can you do it to me, When I, try so hard to be, Your...Everything. Chorus How foolish of me, To think the storm would somehow pass, How foolish of me, To think in the end it would last. I don't want to face the facts... Living for yesterdays dawn, Means that it's time to move on. How Foolish of me, how foolish of me, How foolish of me.... Verse 2 You make me cry, you make me hurt, It seems so simple. Oh, darling.... Have all of me all I can give, Make me feel special. Oh, Darling... Lies, that you make me see, With words, you make me believe, You're my, everything. Chorus Bridge Nice guys finish last I've heard that before, Never believed it now I'm not so sure.... Chorus |
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| © Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
hey i liked this alright and im not being dumb or anything LOL but i dont inderstand why u put this into song version was it a song b4 or something thats prolly it and the answers prolly right in front of me but im dumb LOL :-P |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Uh...... yeah. Anyways, about your song... The content of this is much different from most of your others... I like that aspect of it, but some of the lines seem a bit dull and lacking on impact. You might want to try and spice this song up a bit more with some analogies or other poetic techniques... Also, I think the second line of the bridge should say "but now" instead of just "now." Just my humble opinion. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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