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Teen Poetry #6
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Colors of Dying
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Colors of Dying |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
The ominous clouds, Cast shadows on the mountains that are, Painted with the colors of dying. The fierce afternoon sun, Breaks through and sets the trees on fire. They flail in the biting autumn wind, Crying out for something to save them. And the ominous clouds, Cast shadows on the mountains that are, Painted with the colors of dying. "They say you need to pray if you wanna go to heaven. They never tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell."-Brand New [This message has been edited by StellarChica (10-28-2002 12:14 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Surreal Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 35Paris |
The repitition of the first three lines in this was very good, it made the piece stronger, and to me, have more depth to it. Nice work  Glory is a silent thing-- Mineral |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I liked the irony in the sun brutally slaughtering the trees. I'm also quite fond of the description you provided... flailing is a great word.  This piece is morbid, but you wrote it very well. Keep up the great work. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
StellarChica~ I like this piece very much. I have to agree that the repetition of the first three lines was extremely effective. Great imagery here, and powerfully penned. Nicely done. ~Vicky P.S. Don't forget to check out Teen Challenge #2! "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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