»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
Rainbow Haiku
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
Rainbow Haiku |
|
|
SailorFirebird Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 1615 Miles North of NoWhere |
My life has colors, Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, grape. It also has the black. Not all days are happy, but always remember that a bad day will be followed by a better one. [This message has been edited by SailorFirebird (10-25-2002 02:18 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Cassie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Well, this isn't really haiku format... pardon my pickiness, but haikus are written with a definite syllable scheme (line one has 5 syllables, line 2 has 7, and line 3 has 5 again). Also, Haiku must describe something physical, as it is experienced by the senses, without discussing any non-physical aspects. Usually, Haiku is written about nature. A misconception of the format is that a Haiku is a Haiku as long as it is about nature... in reality, Haiku can be a Haiku without being about "nature", and it can also be a Senryu even if it is about "nature". (This is taking the classical assumption that the word "nature" describes the great outdoors... the word "nature" more accurately applies to Haiku when it is taken to mean, the physical world, the environment, things artificial and "natural" alike.) If a poem is written with the format of a Haiku but without the content, it is generally called Senryu. Anyways... I like the poem, even if it's not Haiku... if you wanted to make this a Senryu, you'd only have to rephrase the first line and trim up the second line a bit. As I said, this is a good poem. Pardon my lecture.  Parasite Learn to place poetry before people Before you place your poetry before the people. ~Andrey Kneller [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (10-25-2002 01:07 PM).] |
||
|
SailorFirebird Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 1615 Miles North of NoWhere |
thank you for the info. i appriciate it lots. i hope that this version is better than my previous. i shall use the info for later ideas. I am Sailor Firebird! Defender of...ummm, STUFF! Behold my clarinet, vito, and the wrath of a squeeky reed! |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Yeah LP is master haikuist....  I liked it a lot. It was very nice.  This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
||
|
foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
omg that is so0o0o kewl that u wrote a haiku!I love haikus!!!Liked this!! |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The format is still out in the second and third line but I can see what you're going for here. The best way to gain experience with these is to write them. ~AF~ Anti Lemming Crusader - Fight against the conformity! |
||
|
HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Well, I won't lecture, not really being much good at them myself, but I will say I enjoyed this. Great poem! |
||
|
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Even though im not much of a fan of haiku's i liked this one. I can relate to it and i think a lot of other people can as well...well said  Sometimes I get so weird |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
enjoyed read là où est mon amour? |
||
|
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Well since I don't write Haikus, I commend you all the more for attempting this Sure it may not be perfect (I'm just going by what the others said), but practice does make perfect. Just keep at it, and one of these times you'll get it bang on |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
