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Pollita
Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity

0 posted 2003-08-16 04:02 AM

Am I wrong,
For having feelings for you…
When Im not meant for you,
God has a slightly different plan for the both of us.

Still, As wrong as I seem to believe,
I still manage to fall in love with you over and over…
Held gently in,
     Each time you smile

Fallen together,
In a confusing Unforgettable pattern.
Holding our memories dear,
Makes questions of our destinies.

You're still in my heart,
     One day I'll see my dreams.
       I’ll find my somebody,
         He just isnt you.

* A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey *

[This message has been edited by Pollita (08-17-2003 05:34 AM).]

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-08-16 04:12 PM

the beggining was very nice. But the end just kinda fell together in sort of blah way. Like oh, I know whats comming. Good none the less.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

2 posted 2003-08-16 07:48 PM

Awww...this was sooo I dunno! LOL. I can't explain but good work! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

3 posted 2003-08-17 01:44 AM

Heh---Delaney...this was a really good piece! I liked it!

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2003-08-17 11:26 AM

i cannot say how much i can relate, and boy do i hate saying that, but this was an amazingly true...i loved it....great job...

off to cry

muah

ri

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

neodymium
New Member

since 2003-08-03

Posts 3

5 posted 2003-08-17 04:39 PM

i liked this poem for its simplicity, and i can definitely relate! i do agree with Lexy, though, that the end does sort of let the reader down, kind of like they know what's coming. i think a more subtle ending would be better.

--Neo

eternalblu
Junior Member

since 2003-08-17

Posts 11
Pennsylvania, US

6 posted 2003-08-17 06:13 PM

I liked it, it was very nice. Sad ending though, but sometimes that's how it comes out. Of course it's a very realistic ending.

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